Housing brochure from China

Free defibrillator in every room

And every liver will be stabbed.

no need for angioplasty

…and every soul will be placed in a mason jar.

Move-in day symptoms include sweating profusely, having discomfort / pain in your chest, shortness of breath, and anxiety / sernse of DOOM!

What a stroke of genius!

Another way to kill the homeless for good.

and every kidney will be dialyzed!

ONE MCDONALDS AT A TIME !

Happy Valentines day

Excuse me sir, I would like to sign up, but I must let you know, I only have one heart.

No wonder the manager is wearing a white suit and is holding a pint of anesthesia…

If you put in your downpayment now within this week, you’ll get a free Ambulatory ECG and a defibrillator! 😀

i wouldnt like to know why.

AHHHH!! My heart!!

Unfortunately these estates wont effect my wife.

The down payment really hits them good!

Defend you don’t fall down and break at with hip

So now China has finally realized their over population problem.

Yeah… Don’t interupt Light Yagami in the middle of his killing time to ask for sugar… It gets ugly.
*Death Note*

Easy way to kill huh?

We have cookies.

I’m heartbroken *sniff*

… then massaged… then defibrillated… then attached to an EKG….

Every time you come home, it’s: SURPRIIIICE!!

…….sounds like a Myo-Condo Infraction!!

A good example of a metaphor… gone wrong.

This should be a fun place to live!

so let me get this staight. you walk in, the furniture runs at you and rip out your heart and attack it? AWESOME!!!

Many victims will fall..

the heartless need not apply

Not another heart attack! D:

Knife sales must be pretty high in their area. Don’t think I’ll be buying from them any time soon.

Please remove your shoes before being entered and attacked.

conveniently located near the “HOLY GARDENS MEMORIAL PARK”

Wow! it has a great view!

We get that it’s a Death Note reference, Patrick, but it’s way funnier if you don’t come right out and say it. That’s the equivalent of elbowing us in the ribs and saying, “GET IT? GET IT?! 8D” after the joke. Though I did laugh before I saw “THIS IS A DEATH NOTE REFERENCE. I LOVE ANIME.”

Not trying to be an asshole, but damn good at it, let the joke speak for itself.

Yes, it’s a lovelly view, just lean out over the balcony…

No prisoners will be taken

They were looking for the perfect home…little did they know that they would be walking into the perfect way to DIE.

Quick, honey, write down all those phone numbers!

Heartborken meets housbroken.

1000 calories
😀

Ah! Its one of my mortgage brokers mantras, along with negative equity negative equity negative equity……

There’s a guy popping out and screaming BOO!! behind every door in this place.

all appartment use scent of transfat incense

Tough love apartments.

Warning: Side effects of China may include cardiac arrest. Do not take with alcohol. Not meant for people experiencing democracy.

Honey, was it just me, or did that Realtor have fangs?

This is the place to be if you want to go out with a *BANG!*