Table Lamp Instructions

So the product is completely safe when operated at 2,000 volts…

…As my sockets only supply 240v though, I fear I have to beware of safety! 🙂

The gift that will have your enemies glowing in the dark.

Because of Monkeys…In the typing pool! 😀

This lamp is a cutie featute!

I’m really glad it has the beautiful to look at, but if doesn’t stop spurting technology, it’s going in the trash.

Sounds like a bunch of highhanded translation to me…!

2000 volts of highhanded shocks??
I know! It their latest Aversion Therapy trainer.

These gys, they nided more english lesonz.

This lamp is so awesome, I think I just spurted!

You’ve got to be careful with lampshades. Get the wrong one and you could end up perpetually deformed.

This lamp thinks its so high and mighty with its highhanded shocks.

Which orifice spurted?

Just follow the few simple instructions and everything will be fine.

I completely understand these instructions….
have I been reading engrish too long???

I had to get a refond for this prodrut because the aurface was sclatched.

it’s trying to tell me something, I can feel it…

See, now THAT is Engrish.

Nice!

What frightens me is that I have been teaching English so long that the instructions make sense to me.
@Bill Posters, I hear you! I hear you! and I feel your pain.

What scares me is that these “instructions” do not contain any actual instructions.

It’s obvious the designer used Lorem Ipsum when laying out the product sheet and forgot to replace it with the actual copy.

its sooooo pretty….dont go into the light!! bzzzzzzt…

Are the highhanded shocks worse than the underhanded sale people?

I’m glad of thi new feture which is made of the most advanced static electrcity……….OWWWWW!!!

Hey Yugan Dali, have you been teaching English or Engrish?

Very strange that their translator used the word FEATURE three times and spelled it three different ways, and PRODUCT is spelled correctly twice and incorrectly another time.

I suggest that we give the Chinese full access to our industrial and military secrets, with the requirement that this person translates all of the documentation. That should slow them down long enough for us to regain a foothold in international exports.

My, this table lamp has some striking featutes.

Qualified metal material … is that like mystery meat?

It also has strong durable feautre of rustability! Wow, so it rusts but in a durable manner!

Thank heavens my lamp is succinct. Nothing worse than a rambling lighting fixture…

Summary:
buy at your own risk, plug it on with care!

This lamp offers no protection vision! Make sure to wear shades at all times. Otherwise your eyesight will be deformed perpetually by the advanced static electricity.

Featute, feture, aurface, prodrut. How many words can someone “accidentally” misspell? and come on, “LEAKAGE OF ELECTRICITY!?” What the deuce?

you’ll wear your sunglasses at night

Easy for you to say!!!

If for watch looking into unoperated shading, standing like with high shocking purpetualy look-loss.

Has tearing of 2000 volts cord will burn carpets and house fire be occured.

Use seeing inclosure to keep lights on in face.

I hate the advanced static electricity on the door knobs…

It may possess the beautiful to look at, but it lacks the understandment of clarities

I still want that lamp!

The last time my aurface spurted, I ended up in the emergency room….

nothing worse than perpetual deformity!

What a way to tell people that the lamp was hi-pot tested.

Now with advanced static electricity! Now you much electrocuted!