Morale was high until the water landing… 

In the event of cabin depressurization, napalm flamethrowers will be deployed from underneath the overhead bins.

Also try our Boeing A380 model, made from pure nitrocellulose.

Aso The Boeng 321NEO,

The Airbus 747 is so uplifting.

So not a Fokker Friendship.

Getting naked, oiling yourself, and repeatedly sliding down the evacuation slide, is frowned upon by the ground staff.

They would prefer you to use the Air-bridge.

Give me mor ale! I think my pilot light is flickering.

Fire extinguishing foam not included.

Mile High Club? Pfffft! To infinity and beyond!

Q. What has two flaps and flies?

A. A female Pilot.

Ah, the legendary Airbus 747. Best airplane next to the Boeing A350.

Good news! In the event of a water landing, your life preserver becomes an anvil!

Dying to fly? We’ve got you buried!

Have a burning desire for air travel? Let us add fuel to your dreams!

Batouttahell Airways is this year’s hottest ticket!

Fed up with other airlines? Fly with us and trade your slow burn for a fast one!

Caution: The Airbus 747 is modeled on the Airbust 1313 and the Airburst 666.

In the event of an emergency…

… you, and the person next you, will be asked to kiss each other’s a$$es goodbye.

Thanks for flying KizzAzz Air!

Should we encounter any turbulence, our craft has been designed to drop its wings so that we may become lighter and rise above any patches of rough air…

To help passengers save on fares, we have chosen 8-year-old Jimmy, in seat 39c, to be our pilot today.

The chocks are away and your video game controller is ready, so let ‘er rip, Jimmy!

Overhead announcement:

“Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.”

— full credit to Steven Wright, on what he likes to tell hitchhikers he picks up

Try our parachuting partner Sleazy Jet 3-2-1. (Cheap because you don’t really need a parachute…. only if you want to do it twice.)

Don’t let anyone extinguish your hot joy of flying or put out your fiery dreams of landing!

Come fry with us!

Airbus 747, huh?

Well, guess it’s time to leave for the airport in my Ferrari 720S.

Looks like Boeing’s side chick had a baby

Our aircraft uses Methane to keep pollution levels low.

The only meal on the menu Cheese and Artichoke pie, in the interest of having endless fuel reserves.

Someone watched the last episode of Manifest…