Will not get this even when the cows come home…

As soon as I got to “rotor of the screw” I knew this would be good.

Prythee, pay attention!

NO! I don’t need any switches shoving, thanks.

Must be a house of ill repute

Tad batteries must be small

Sith Lord not included. Cow not included either.

Play at Sith: Know the unlit side of the battery.

Bloodstream, hooks, switches and holes: 50 Shades of Batman.

Some men are disappointed about the growth of their tatelage. But as everyone knows: it is not the size of the tatelage that matters, it is how you wield it.

This Batman toy can be wielded by Two-face!

Hook goes apside of hoooooooooooooooooole.

Prythee no sport with stingy. Findeth thou a wench who liketh to put out.

Any dry cells left on the floor qualify as slipup batteries.

Shoving switches to NO is how you make the toy go backwards.

The cow comes home to hide from the wield animals.

Is the Throagh of Peril an action figure included with the toy? And what does he do with his winding finger?

“hook through toys apside of hole”
Oh, I get it, it’s a sex toy.

You need an IQ of 160 to understand this instruction manual.

Who the f**k is Tad?!

Following these awesome instructions, I create a Frankencow. He calls himself Darth Frankencow, Lord of the Prythees, to be exact. And he’s out to destroy his arch-enemy, Tad.

Following these awesome instructions, I created a Frankencow. He calls himself Darth Frankencow, Lord of the Prythees, to be exact. And he’s out to destroy his arch-enemy, Tad.

What’s the name? Appertain!
Rotor of screw and I’ll tell you the same.

Tad has no concept of time or distance.

Meanwhile, two-faced (literally) bounty hunter Bilge Dasto is unrelenting in his hunt to assassinate Sith Lord Frankencow, persisting in his quest to the ends of the galaxy, through the Winding Fingers of Blood on planet Throagh, to the Aquaor Fires of Ioto.

— OK, I’m a little loopy; time for some coffee. 🙂

Makes sense to me. cmporifj[wncxlkv’pioernf/lkjpxvim 4;oppzd

If a Sith is involved, then the “NO” setting needs more O’s.

Do not want!

Translate properly, I prithee…

Yes, I remember the Darth Pillroller doping scandal. A stain on Sith history.

What is half as much as a tad? A wee bit?

In thie event of accident ply thee pilroller Tuke.
Who knows where is Tuke? I have an event of accident!

Sex toy does not include batteries.

Ah my lady, I can guarantee you a screw of the hole, with a thread of the length half as much again as the average Asian man.

Putting one’s tongue on the switch at the top of the hole, may cause lots of squeaking.

Is it possible to un-translate this?

– What is the difference between prythee and plythee?
– Dasto apside the locknat orention throagh tatelage ioto!

So their engrish translator is a Shakespearian scholar/dairy farmer?

I used to be a Sith, until I took a screw to the rotor.

If I didn’t know this was a translation by the English Literature major who ate the mushrooms, I might take this personally.

The cows will never come home as long as sith are there.

This almost reads like instructions from a user manual for a light saber on changing the battery.

This is the power supply the Sith use to shoot bolts of lightning out of their fingertips.

From a flying Goku toy:

WARNING!!!

* Prythee no sport with stingy or play asperity game. Winding finger have
got bloodstream not wallk. Through of peril.

* Tad disport of time grown man tatelage.

Bilge nasto notwithstanding, that’s some fine Engrish.

(Um, make that bilge dasto. D’oh!)

If you get bilge dasto on the ceiling you’re screwing it wrong!

So, it’s OK, I can smorking?

May the seamy side volitation pre your house too !

The only thing I understand is ‘WARNING’, though I’m not sure anymore if it’s spelled correctly.

“No trust for tad batteries lest in advertent eat off” – hm, so THAT’s what distinguishes those competitive eaters from the rest of humanity

Prythee, he who cannot answer the five, I mean three questions will be cast into the Throagh of Peril!

1. What is your name?
2. What is your quest?
3. What thread of length do you need for half as many as a tad?

What do you mean? Are you referring to an African or European screw?

MAY THE SEAMY SIDE VOLITATION AFFLICT ALL YOUR HOUSES!