Will not get this even when the cows come home…

……………….A GENERAL MALEDICTION……………..

May the cows come home and crap in your guttering.
And the batteries vent in your general direction.
May the Sith Lord deflower your daughters.
And may you suffer the dissolution of the aquaor fire.

You can’t tell me that Engrish wasn’t pharmaceutically assisted.

I love Shakespeare

Looks familiar…

https://engrish.com/2002/10/dragonball-toy/

@Bill Posters: Of course! I didn’t recognise it. It’s “The Taming of the Screw”.

@ big fat cat

more like an IQ of 5, any more and you start overthinking it

I’m pretty sure it was supposed to say directions instead of WARNING

But can I volitate on the non-seamy side?

[…] The following caution from the packaging for a flying Batman toy is among the most poetically cryptic I've ever read. It's not often that instructions include the word "prythee" or the expression "till the cowcomes home." Someone named Sandy Moritz contributed a photo of the warning to the Engrish.com website here. […]

Throuag of peril, my favourite trash metal band. I think they released a new record.

@Bill Posters: Shakespeare on acid!

One time I played at sith and killed all the younglings. Sith: Not Even Once.

…And this, friends, is precisely why IKEA instruction manuals are designed to not require text.

Well, someone used Google Translate a few to many times…

This sounds like a really dangerous toy. Just to be safe you may want to add:
1) no bright light
2) don’t get it wet
3) never feed it after midnight, no matter how much it begs.

Ya know what… Just show me the picture.

Well, we all know Tad disport of time grown man tatelage.

Surprised they even have to put that on the package.

It’s a given.

Believe it or not, there’s another version for a Dragonball Z toy here: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/im/dballtoy.shtml This alternate version goes back to at least 2001.

You had me at ceiling of bilge

You all missed the point! This brilliant piece of literature isn’t meant to be taken literally. For example, “tad” is was the name of Abraham Lincoln’s youngest son, who liked to play cowboys and indians, and therefore this is a reference to the unbearable angst of the indogenous Americans after the Treaty of the Arapahoes and Cheyenne of 1865. When the author later opines, “Till the cowcomes home,” it becomes clear that this is a post-modern essay referring to the working class, who do not have cows to come home, but only one cow to come home.

The Sith lord Tad Bloodstream, and his trusty sidekick Darth Frankencow are hunting to the ends of the galaxy for Throagh Pillroller of Tatalage 2.

Throagh is a Jedi Knight in training. He’s doing all he can to hide from Bloodstream and Frankencow.

From ‘The Knights Who Say Incoherent Things’