Engrish.com
Documenting the Engrish phenomenon from East Asia and around the world!
Documenting the Engrish phenomenon from East Asia and around the world!
Someone set up us the Engrish.com.
We look forward to worshipping you
Shall I turn the bed, Lord?
Photo courtesy of Benjamin Johnson.
Found in the “services” booklet provided by a hotel in Jiaozuo, Henan, China.
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If you take Jiaozuo to throw out, we will be the Manager and you can be informed how to throw.
So if your single your a deity if your a family you not. Thank goodness for the attendents
First we take Jiaozuo, then we take Berlin.
Bring your children, Lord. There’s always room at this inn.
Please feel free to enjoy walking on our swimming pool.
If I were God I would make this place full of groly.
Now, wait … Where’s The John …?
– Hello, Reception?
– Amen!
Hello, Room Service? I’m out of lightning bolts.
Being omnipotent, Lord, you won’t mind the size of the bill.
The customer is always infallible.
JACK: ”I will be the housekeeper here.”
JIAOZUO: ”We’re sorry to differ with you, sir, but WE will be the housekeeper. We’ve ALWAYS been the housekeeper. We should know, sir, we’ve always been here.”
Just bring me water, I’ll turn it into wine.
Please remember to tip our doorman, St. Peter.
@ Sparky: You mean urine? ;p
George Burns used to stay here. More recently, Morgan Freeman dropped by.
And with six, you get eggroll.
We are the host. Thou Art the Heavenly Host.
Better than that other hotel where you’re treated like Satan. Instead of little chocolates on your pillow they leave decapitated sacrificial goats!
Schrödinger’s God
11. Thou shalt not charge the Lord thy God. Not even one penny.
If you don’t mind, I think I will retire a few Vestal Virgins, after dinner.
@Lora. They’re actually Chocolate Goats. Specially made to fit the theme of the establishment. The real problem is the bidet, which emits gouts of fire.
And on the eighth day he created Jiaozuo.
It is not five star – it is heavenly -BOOM, BOOM. :X
If I stay at a hotel, I created the multiverse? Makes sense.
You are looking for the seventh room on the seventh floor
How do you take Jiaozuo as a family anyway?
Call the front desk and see if they have Pope on a rope.
Sorry Sir, no elevators. Only the stairway to heaven.
I see they believe in the real presence of Christ in the host.
/obscure pun
We aim to please. Will you aim too, please?
On the third day, I will rise.
If you take Jiaozuo, do not disturb the pod at the foot of the bed and you can get the dignity of being the host.