We look forward to worshipping you

We look forward to worshipping you

posted on 23 Feb 2014 in Chinglish, Instructions

Shall I turn the bed, Lord?

Photo courtesy of Benjamin Johnson.
Found in the “services” booklet provided by a hotel in Jiaozuo, Henan, China.

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Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

If you take Jiaozuo to throw out, we will be the Manager and you can be informed how to throw.

algernon
algernon
10 years ago

So if your single your a deity if your a family you not. Thank goodness for the attendents

algernon
algernon
10 years ago

First we take Jiaozuo, then we take Berlin.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
10 years ago

Bring your children, Lord. There’s always room at this inn.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
10 years ago

Please feel free to enjoy walking on our swimming pool.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

If I were God I would make this place full of groly.

Now, wait … Where’s The John …?

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

– Hello, Reception?
– Amen!

jjhitt
jjhitt
10 years ago

Hello, Room Service? I’m out of lightning bolts.

GwydionM
10 years ago

Being omnipotent, Lord, you won’t mind the size of the bill.

coffeebot
10 years ago

The customer is always infallible.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

JACK: ”I will be the housekeeper here.”
JIAOZUO: ”We’re sorry to differ with you, sir, but WE will be the housekeeper. We’ve ALWAYS been the housekeeper. We should know, sir, we’ve always been here.”

Sparky
Sparky
10 years ago

Just bring me water, I’ll turn it into wine.

Sparky
Sparky
10 years ago

Please remember to tip our doorman, St. Peter.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

@ Sparky: You mean urine? ;p

Ben
Ben
10 years ago

George Burns used to stay here. More recently, Morgan Freeman dropped by.

K.Haskins
K.Haskins
10 years ago

And with six, you get eggroll.

PeeBee
PeeBee
10 years ago

We are the host. Thou Art the Heavenly Host.

Lora
Lora
10 years ago

Better than that other hotel where you’re treated like Satan. Instead of little chocolates on your pillow they leave decapitated sacrificial goats!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
10 years ago

Schrödinger’s God

Peter
Peter
10 years ago

11. Thou shalt not charge the Lord thy God. Not even one penny.

Marum
Marum
10 years ago

If you don’t mind, I think I will retire a few Vestal Virgins, after dinner.

Marum
Marum
10 years ago

@Lora. They’re actually Chocolate Goats. Specially made to fit the theme of the establishment. The real problem is the bidet, which emits gouts of fire.

Marum
Marum
10 years ago

And on the eighth day he created Jiaozuo.

It is not five star – it is heavenly -BOOM, BOOM. :X

Jack
Jack
10 years ago

If I stay at a hotel, I created the multiverse? Makes sense.

szk
szk
10 years ago

You are looking for the seventh room on the seventh floor

szk
szk
10 years ago

How do you take Jiaozuo as a family anyway?

timmy
timmy
10 years ago

Call the front desk and see if they have Pope on a rope.

ItalianPlumber
ItalianPlumber
10 years ago

Sorry Sir, no elevators. Only the stairway to heaven.

Wm Jas
10 years ago

I see they believe in the real presence of Christ in the host.

/obscure pun

Silly Uncle Willy
10 years ago

We aim to please. Will you aim too, please?

Casey
Casey
9 years ago

On the third day, I will rise.

Crank Caller
Crank Caller
9 years ago

If you take Jiaozuo, do not disturb the pod at the foot of the bed and you can get the dignity of being the host.

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