Exit only

In other words, this kitchen timer will not kick your ass.

Umm… scratching my back?

This timer tells how long your alien abduction lasted.

That depends on who is talking…

Just keep your hands of mine.

We also give 5 years warranty on our advanced exploder time bomb. You can test a free sample in privacy of your home, office or vacation.

They look like prisoners’ files…

CAUTION: Don’t enter the opposite sex through the back door

My backside deserves the very best careful use.

I live for the day a man will whisper this in my ear.

Trust me. Even careless use and handling of my backside would be the most fun I’ve had in years.

Memories of my prostate examination.

Lack of careul use and handling of your backside will cause you decline.

It would be funnier if it wasn’t on the wall of the prison showers….

There is even more careful use and handling of your frontside.

It carefules!

They’ve degraded from legitimate advertising to outright butt kissing.

@Pectrolata: Or whisper it in your rear…

Please be gentle; it’s my first timer.

The Spanish appears to be saying the exact same thing. Maybe it’s not a mistake.

Just relax, this won’t hurt a bit….

Careful farts never exit

No ifs or buts.

@Pectolatra. That thought certainly raised my….Errr….Spirits.

Now, bend over, turn your head and cough!

Warning: Do not place in a lounge.

Always cover your ass!

carefully go back to your behind

Yes but I still don’t know how I got this
unexplained hemorrhoid.

Even the Spanish is bad

So use a condom…

We would never handle your backside in an uncareful way, so leave all your backside handling needs to us!

Gives new meaning to CYA!

Donald Duck, that means you!

scratch your backside carefully