Here, have some paper to calm down…

Which is softer: the drink or the carton?

Never pack drinks in paper cartoons, though. It makes them taste funny.

Environmentalists do it it paper cartons !

This drink isn’t worth the paper it is packed in.

Is this paper perhaps laced with certain chemicals that induce a euphoric state?

Updated kids’ game: Rocks, paper, scissors, drinks, mood.

The kinder you are, the drinker the environment.

I’ll have a coke. In paper.

Happiness is a paper cup.

Have a cup. Why not the whole carton.

Simple soft drink slogans like “drink” or “enjoy” are so yesterday. Today we wow with an entire paragraph of gibberish.

YUP! It’s blotto paper.