Do not drown without a buddy!

Fall like a snowflake, you…….snowflake!

The water is gentle.

And no hullabaloo.

Don’t hit this sign on the way in.

The water has feelings.

Only applies to people with ectrodactyly.

Sloppy drowning is a capital offence.

Remember what the Chinese water taught ya.

And don’t spill too much water with your splash!

Contestants will be judged on Technical Merit and Artistic Interpretation as they lose their balance and tumble headlong.

Helpful clockwise memory aid: Spring carelessly, fall carefully.

Always faceplant like on Fakebook.

Take Care with you — he’s all wet already.

… but come back on land like your usual reckless self.

Only you can prevent safety.

Hardhats, water wings, and cement overshoes required.

Darwin Awards Recreational Area: Please dive headfirst into unfamiliar waters!

Especially four-armed people ? See warning sign.

Forewarned is 4-armed, apparently.