Whisky is the only reason I am here…

Not even one litter of whiskas?

They wouldn’t want you to Thai one on.

Banana daiquiris encouraged.

I say, old chap, this is a right rum do!

– Mommy, hic, this soda has only 20% of alcohol!

Cigarettes and wild women fine though

This is the only way to beer with monkeys.

So the monkey said to the Scotsman

– Can I have some coke then?

The whisky area is much smaller than that. It’s inside me!

Och laddie. I’ll nae be fust futtin it there.

Looks like I’m retiring to the Philippines. I couldn’t stand it in Thailand

Is there a monk with the former name of Jack Daniels?

Monkey see, Monkey drink!

@BFC 0425. No. But there is a “jack” with the former name of monkey.

According to the old theory, it was AIDS.

Q. Where do they put all the imported Vodka?

A. In Bond.

If you have read Fleming books, rather than only watched the movies, you will recall 007 was a aficionado of fine Vodka.

Some people go ape after a few drinks.

Does anyone read Thai script?

Does it only mention Whisky, or does it refer to all alcohol?

If you are intending to eat a Thai lady, don’t drink a mouthful of neat Scotch first. For if you do, she will probably spontaneously fly out the window.

All people are to stay in the designated area.

So that they can be conveniently viewed by the monkeys.

Lassie: “Jock. Is that yer Sporran?”

Jock: ‘Aye lassie.’

Lassie: “I was wonderin. I thought it was a wee beastie, and tried to pat it. But it spat at me.”

There’s a sign you’ll never see in Ireland.

@Frank Burns | 6:39 am: Actually, you might see one there. Whisky is scotch. The Irish spell theirs ‘whiskEy’.

But gin, rum, brandy, vodka, and Everclear are OK?

Because of monkeys.

@markm 0704.
Makes me think of the old joke, about the bloke who drank two litres of lacquer.

Of course it killed him, but he had a beautiful finish.

They’re making moonshine-legally-in Tennessee now. I even bought a jar on a vacation trip there.

Incidentally it was illegal in the past because the manufacturers were doing it while not paying taxes to the federal government for it.

@Long Tom. above. Not only that mate. With the old methods of distilling methyl alcohol was often produced. (more than once) Resulting in blindness, general organ damage and death.
With modern electronic temperature monitoring the process is much more reliable. (Safer)

Methanol (wood alcohol) 64C (147F)
Ethanol 78C (172F)

As you can no doubt imagine, distilling over an open fire, is not a good lifestyle decision.

Methanol = CH3OH

Ethanol = C2H5OH

Show me the way to the next No Whisky Area.