Roll that mattress for me, honey…

Roll that mattress for me, honey…

posted on 31 Jul 2017 in Chinglish, Signs

no-smoking-the-bed

It’s the only way to kill bedbugs!

Photo courtesy of Cole Miller.
Found in Beijing, China.

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DrLex
DrLex
5 years ago

But I can smoke the carpet, right?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
5 years ago

It’s a blanket ban.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
5 years ago

If you want hot sex you need to do it on the floor.

algernon
algernon
5 years ago

I guess a bonk is out of the question then

algernon
algernon
5 years ago

I like my beds fresh

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
5 years ago

Cela n’est pas une pipe.

Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
5 years ago

But I’m a light sleeper.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

Well. I set my lady on fire regularly, but never yet the bed.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

BTW. That smell of burning rubber – it’s not the mattress, it’s the condoms.

Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
5 years ago

Not only bedbugs, they’ve got thermites.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

Setting your lover om fire may well be an exothermic reaction. However, whilst it produces tremendous excitement of the molecules, to date, it has produced neither smoke nor flames.

Tom41
Tom41
5 years ago

How are we supposed to smoke the bed if it’s flame retardant?

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

@ Algernon 0410. If you ask for a “bunk” though, you might just get lucky. 👌

DrLex
DrLex
5 years ago

Can I smork it instead?

Pete
Pete
5 years ago

OK, I get it for dry-smoking.
But what about wet-smoking?
Y’know, like smoking fish.

Pete
Pete
5 years ago

How ’bout the room’s coffee or tea packs?
Can I smoke them?

Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
5 years ago
Classic Steve
5 years ago

What had the translator been smoking?

Lora
Lora
5 years ago

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Smoking causes cancer, impotence, increased risk of heart attack and stroke, and severe staining of teeth. But on the upside, if you should fall asleep while smoking, those same stained teeth may be helpful in identifying your remains. 🙂

RT
RT
5 years ago

i said roll me a blunt, not a bunk!

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

@Lora 0912. After forensic tests, they discovered his name was Chard.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

@Pete. I observe, the Asians are not plagued by prepositional phrases, which have no relation to the object of the sentence. They cunningly leave out the preposition.

ie. I was accosted by a man in a wheelchair with no legs.

Brevity being the soul of wit, one could leave most words out

ie. People who live in glass houses….Shouldn’t.

In this case, the “shouldn’t” would apply to almost every activity undertaken in a “glass-house”. Thereby eliminating the need to list them individually.

jjhitt
jjhitt
5 years ago

We’re going to need a bigger ashtray.

EffEff
EffEff
5 years ago

What if the bed is made of hemp fabric”?

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

@EffEff.1505.

What hempen homespuns have we here.

(Shakespeare Act 3; Scene 1; Page 4: A Midsummer Nights Dream)

Slightly misquoted….To suit mine own ends. 😸

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
5 years ago

Smoking the water. instead

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
5 years ago

– Darling? It’s smokin’ hot here¬

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
5 years ago

@Pete | 6:26 am: Someone in the bed shouting :”OH COD!” ?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
5 years ago

@Seventy2rd o clock | 3:21 pm : Smoking the water, firing this guy… 😉

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

@DNT 0411 . Deshalb. Dies is nicht eine Cigarette.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

Hehehe Rauchen das Bett verboten. 💤

A Non-Y Mouse
A Non-Y Mouse
5 years ago

They are well marinated though.

Long Tom
Long Tom
5 years ago

“Drei Mann I’m Doppelbett”- song by the German band Trio.

Marum
Marum
5 years ago

Rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub.

EEEwwww! HOW UNSANITARY. 🙅

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