Picking up bad habits from the Germans…

Please don’t use your hands.

Hey baby, want to see my Bratwurst?

I’m from Gurmany

Waiter! There’s a wiener in my entrée!

Something to do with sausages

♪
Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about Germany…
♫ ♪

@algernon: That’s the wurst kind of sexual harassment!

Terrible German, all because of their little sausages!

We put the Ommph in Omp-Pah-Pah.

Is that the Hindenburg or are you just glad to see me?

And you thought a hair on a Coke can was bad.

Bed taste of the wurst menu.

Pumpernickel? I haven’t even seen her nickel.

What part of Nein! Nein! don’t you understand?

The waitress keeps suggesting neun und sechzig, but there are only fifty items on the menu.

This picture was used as evidence in the court to show how the German tourist ended up when he violated the no sexual harassment policy at the Quan Sheng Hotel.

Hey baby. Let’s go to my place and you can “show me your papers.”

That wasn’t on the D-Day plan.

Time to Polka!

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can’t stand it any longer, and goes to her boss to file a sexual harassment complaint. She tells the boss what the co-worker does, and wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.

The boss is puzzled by this, and asks, ‘What’s sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice’? The woman replies, ‘It’s Wolfgang, the dwarf.’

Are you a nazi or a hotzi-totzi?

Boner appétit!

Hello, I’m Clark Griswald, my family and I were looking for sex.

We have wayz ov making you sexy!

I like the way GwydionM thinks, but it needs a little tweaking..

Vee have vayz to make you sleep vit me!

Getten zie ready fuhr mein bliss-krieg !

With all that Oktoberfest feeling!

It’s the wurst type of sexual harassment!

It comes served in a black vinyl plate on a leather tray. Black latex napkins available.

Arbeit mach sexy

(And yes, I know that’s in extremely poor taste. My bad.)

It is all about making das Best of der Wurst.

Sechs is the number that cones after Fünf.

And before Sieben.
Take note Aust Swimming.
Sechs before Sieben.

I prefer Italian-type sexual harassment. The way the language sounds makes it less creepy.

Mit a bang
Mit a boom♫♪
Mit a bing-bang bing-bang boom ♪♪
Russian folksongs und French oo-la-la
Can’t compare with a German oom-pah-pah!
♫♪

You’ve had the brat-wurst
Now try the brat-best!

♫ Ven der Führer says
Ve iss de master lands
Ve Heil! Heil!
Right in der Führer’s pants

@BTU.
Es macht nichts freund. History neither began nor ended with the Holocaust. More….It should be a signal to us all, to be vigilant, so that it never happens again.

What was never mentioned until recent years, is that dear old Yosef, (he was one of the good guys then) killed as many. He was just not as well organised.
Stalin Quote: “A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.”

Interesting insight into a dictator’s mind, nein?

@Marum:
You got that right. That’s why I maintain the expensive hobby of “professional gun nut”. Er, well… not professional. Just a nut!

Tasol.

Twelve IRA members kidnap a German tourist, with the intention of raping her.

She is screaming; “Nein, nein, nein!”

So Pat, and Mick, and Shaun, go home.

Does anyone know what the Chinese actually says?

@Vulcan64.
I know what you mean mate. Have you ever watched The Wizard of Oz in German?

I English the Munchkins are cute. In German they’re sinister.

Germany and China have SOMETHING in common… Germany has a chancellor, and China has a premier, even though most countries call theirs a prime minister…

Today, the waitress. Tomorrow, THE WORLD!

Stop trying to annex my personal space. It isn’t Poland.

Keep your dirty Hans off of me!

@Marum:

The Chinese says “German-style salty pig hand”.

Sometimes it’s actually kind of insightful and interesting to see why a particular phrase has gotten mis-translated. In this case, “salty pig hand” refers to sexual harassment because a creepy guy is like a salty pig. However, salty pig hand is also a tasty food. 😛

Ah! Pigs Trotters. I suspected as much. But I did not understand the allusion.

Dane schön. @Qeny.

EDIT: Trotters/feet

EDIT: Danke schön.