Don’t book that fright!

I’d be fearful flying Air NZ.

i’m already shaking with fear just looking at the prices

Part of a xenophobic smare campaign …

Now with swine flu!

I never thought I’d be frying over the jungle.. but now I’ve booked the fear, I have nothing to lose!

There’s no fear like “diving towards your watery grave from the clouds fear”.

These Asian thrill rides are getting a little out of hand…

X-treme Air Travel!

Ooooo, look! We have a taker!

Oh, and don’t mind the disturbing image of a pentagram on top

Freddie and Jason will be flying the plane while Alien and Predator will be your Flight Attendants…

In the air… No One Can Hear You Scream…

Talk about an in-flight Shock Theater!

Snakes on a Plane!

That’s how ‘fare’ is pronounced in New Zealand. Perfect job of phonetic spelling, I’d say.

“Qantas never crashed….”

https://www.allposters.co.uk/-sp/Run-From-Fear-Fun-from-Rear-Posters_i4911853_.htm
or
http://www.artnet.com/magazineus/features/saltz/saltz4-23-08_detail.asp?picnum=2
or
http://www.flickr.com/photos/crazybobbles/323494178/
(same thing – just different sources)

BThW – what is “special fear” really supposed to be translated as?

Did you have the chicken or the fish?

Enjoy your fright!

You must be this tall to board the plane.

“On behalf of Capt. Fraidy Chickenheart, this is Freida Shivers, your fright attendant….
We’re cruising at an altitude of 36000 feet, the temperature outside is -16 degrees….
Should you check the right wing, you won’t find it because it has fallen off….
Should you check the left wing, you won’t see it because it’s burning….
Should you glance towards the earth, you’ll see three orange parachutes floating down. That’s your captain, second officer and me….
This is a recorded message. Thank you!”

The airliner with no return tickets!

Maybe the City Library across the street should be visited first, to check out how special the fear is.

I SAW SOMETHING OUT ON THE WING…!!! IT LOOKED LIKE A MAN!!!

Free cocktails!

Please hurry in and advantage take of this horrific price.

beechoak wins every prize forever. Seriously.

“Okay, folks, we’re going to be flying directly into an aurora borealis oddly positioned over LAX now…

Or maybe we’ll climb up into this odd jet stream and see if we can break the passenger plane speed record. Remember, airspeed means nothing.”

…and to add just a little extra fear, to our “Special Fear” flights, we will be passing through North Korean air space.

Just name a city. We can get you back from there for at least $1450.

In the unlikely event of a water landing, you should feel really special!

Please take a moment to read over the flight safety instructions card in the seat pocket in front of you. Twice.

I would like to make a reservation for the regular fear – Air Canada

Although the author was probably Asian, this mistake is totally a product of the Kiwi accent! New Zealanders often pronounce “ear” and “air” the same, which carries through to “hear” and “hair”, “beer” and “bare”, and, of course, “fear” and “fare” in this example. For those who want to be technical about it, it’s called the “near/square” merger 🙂

Look at these plices! What a stear!

with Grim Reaper as our pilot….

Doesn’t airport security already create enough?

Another version of “Snakes on a Plane”! 😀

Your only fear is the fair itself.

make that fare.

Opposite the City Library in the Haunted House. Open from dusk ’til dawn.

Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to welcome you on board this 13:45 flight to Hong Kong. For your comfort and safety, please pay attention to the following safety information: * – Your seat-belt is fastened like this [Steward ties belt in a Granny knot], * – In the event of cabin pressure loss, oxygen masks will appear. Please pull them towards you and put them on like this [Steward puts mask on and fakes asphyxiation due to leak in oxygen system], * – In the event of a landing on water, your seat back may be used as a… Read more »

The ultimate fright.

Air New Zealand one-way to Mt Erebus.

To be fair, fair/fare/fear are often homophonous in New Zealand English (still funny though).

Ever watch that movie about a premonition of a plane crash? You don’t have to tell me twice not to fly!

Sir/Maam, you’re now 3,000 ft above China, get your things now and jump off the plane! Sorry, but parachutes are not available.

Probably some claustrophobic kind of fear.

oh look! a chickren!

This makes 2012 go EVEN closer! You’d get into…
Bermuda Triangle!
Sudden Explosion!
Unknown Terrorism!
Mysterious Engine Sabotage!
Fuel Leak!
Loss of Maneuvering!
Parts Disappearing!
Beware of anything above this!

Terror available for a small additional charge

I’m so afright!