Just the essentials…

Ten percent off for all card-carrying pimps, ho’s and tranny’s!

For the idiot handyman.

“Excuse me, which isle has marijuana? I went around the LSD stacks and ended up here!”

Sales EVERY DAY of the week! Something for EVERYONE!
Check out our:
Manic Monday’s
Tremor Tuesday’s
Wacked-Out Wednesday’s
Tourniquet Thursday’s
Fry-Days
Syringe Saturday’s
Staph Infection Sunday’s
Plus, every 3rd Sunday is NEEDLE MANIA! All used needle’s half-off!

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…finding good drugs is like finding a needle in a hardware sto..HEY!

My shopping list: Three-penny nails and $6 bottles of Evian.

…but the “Software and Smack Megastore” just seems to have better quality stuff.

Maybe I’ll consider DIY chores from now on. Sounds fun!

So that explains why the handyman is missing a couple of fingers

For all your “screw” and “blow” needs…

who’s up for getting hammered, nailed and screwed?

Gimme a dime bag, and a roll of duct-tape…

Convenience with… a little too much of a smile…

I’m more concerned about that comma. This looks like someone was starting to write a letter but then got distracted.

Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong.

They better not come with the “fallen of a truck” story here

The new shop vac works great, but now I’m hungry for some reason.

First we get hammered, then we nail each other.

Bongs … aisle twelve, right next to the ‘Huffer Delite’ brand spray paint!

“Come for the wrench, stay for the crack”

Yo, homes, it’s one them dope supamarkets, fo shizzle!

What better place to buy guns and drugs?

Whoa, dude! Check it out! This hammer suddenly has a face! Wow! Now the whole store seems to be speaking to me!

This explains sooooooooooooooo much

Now, which one of these electrical conuits works the best as a bong?

You can build it, or fix it or smoke it or snort it. We can help.

DIY for dummies.

Talk about making a hash of the D.I.Y!

Highstation 3. Splifftendo. Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

overdose on aisle 6….

Next spot, map quest

Pop Rocks just got a whole new meaning…

Does Tommy Chong know about this yet?

For the stoner do-it-yourselfer …

They’re trying to be hip! No one wants to go to the lame-o market.

What? Isn’t pot a type of hardware?

Anyway, I was looking for opium birdseed. Where are the 10-pound bags? I need to give the birds one pound.

wasnt aware we had a super market for that but hoo–rah just the same

I still prefer Home DePOT.

For those that like to get geeked up and build!

oh man, I was looking for the software and cocaine supermarket.

Looks like they ran out of both after the last comma there…

“This old House” with Beavis and Butthead!

I could nail me some joint compound here, man.

Dude… where’s my car?

Hammer… 1.75
Dope…. 34.50

Listen, I need some duct tape, wood screws, and a big fatty. Can you help me?

build your own bong

Is that for GTA:Shanghai or Beijing?? LOL

So! ACE Hardware has been lying to me all the time!

– A chainsaw and a coke, please.