Attention Please

An If killed my great-great-grandpa during the civil war, the miserable coward.

WANTED: If and When, spotted shop rifting. Give you much reward.

Those darn if’s. Making us second guess our decisions, live with regrets, and build false hopes- and now shoplifting! We need to have a serious talk

No ifs, ands or buts allow.

If I catch that if, I’m gonna give him one heck of a coopelation.

ten thousand yens. Two bucks and a quarter.

Only ¥ 10,000? Still, I apprecite the gestule.

A man showed that sign to the shop keeper a week later – he made 20,000 yen.

As in Stephen King’s ‘If’

Wait, is that Japanese Yen or Chinese Yuan? Cause that’d either be 100 or 1500 US dollars. These things are good to know before someone turns into a rat.