Who let Uncle Tony in the house?

Now I know why Santa always wants to slide down people’s chimneys!

Why is this present vibrating?

And I was scolded by my family for adding an extra “appendage” to my gingerbread men cookies. Some people just don’t know the true meaning of Christmas…

We’d wish you a “Holly Jolly Christmas” but that’s just kids’ stuff.

Um, I think you’ve had enough egg nog.

Well, we all know who’s on Santa’s naughty list this year.

…and the spectacularly engorged New Year!

Santa, your lap feels funny.

Usually the throbbing is in my head the morning after Christmas.

C’mon over here, I’ve got your xxx-mas present !!

Come on Santa, fill up those pantyhose I left by the fireplace.

Hey there bud. Reach in my stocking here and see if you can pull out a candy cane.

Have a merry throbbing Christmas!

That’s because Santa only comes once a year!

And a Pulsating New Year!

Is that a wind-up toy in your pocket, or…

Oh come, ye merry gentleman…

But…how do you wrap it?!?

(oops…mixed my carols up!)

O come, all ye faithful…

Especially for those who left their hearts in San Fransisco.

Now I know why Santa always says “Ho, ho, ho”….

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas . . .

I *warned* you not to sit in Santa’s lap…

Santa: Hohoho! Check out my Christmas “tree”!

“You’d better watch out……”

Santa Claus is comin’…

Well, I guess it won’t be a Silent Night on Christmas!

OMG! You got me a d*ck in a box!

Accompanied by the delightfully erect Hanukkah…

Hey, that’s not a candy cane in Santa’s pocket!

Well, SOMETHING isn’t shaking like a bowl full of jelly….

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him touching himself…

Who wants to “visit the north pole”? (Wink wink nudge nudge)

I’m getting a strange sensation in my “Tiny Tim”.

Santa Claus is a pedophile…

How do you wrap it? I believe I speak for everyone when I say d*ck in a box

Is that a christmas in your pocket, or are you just throbbing?

The wonderful (and magical) Christmas with no war!

Apparently, cookies and milk ain’t enough this holiday season …

oh so christmas is a perveted hangover? Merry Perverted Hang Over Everyone

This Christmas sponsored in part by Trojan.

Let me just unwrap this here . . . oh dear god I see a vein . . .

Finally a reason for a dick in a box.

Somebody getting their holly jollies?