This explains the nose plugs…

I guess farting is out of the question

Best not to breathe here

She’s not my whiff, she’s my mifftreff.

The pond is full of smelt.

Whiffing in the Pond sounds like the name of one of those English towns with one pub, one small church and a population of around 50.

Can I use those strong winds for sailing?

– N … No, Officer, I’ve been drinking. No, no water … Just a beer, that is!
– I smell something fishy about you. Step out of the water, Sir.

That’s what Fisherman’s Friends are for!

And don’t even think of taking a whoop.

Can I smooke in the pond?

Whiffing in the pond is the number one problem.

Rats. I was planning to go smorkling there.

It’s one of those volcanic lakes that emit hydrogen sulfide.

Maybe they meant “no huffing.”

She: “What’s that you’ve got there?”

Me: “It’s my whiffletree.”

FYI: Wfiffletreee _ A crossbar conected to a load – usually behind horses or oxen, to equalize the forces applied to the load being pulled.

Thus – A bar connected to a load – I wasn’t really incorrect was I?

The turgid, highly polluted waters of a Chinese lake, would be the last thing I would dip any part of me in.

In fact – I wouldn’t even pi$$ in it.

@Marum | 9:59 am
I don’t even want to imagine what kind of fish you can catch in that pond.

That … Pond scum!

Droll not Troll | 4:13 am | Might be close there are some interesting ones here.
http://www.anglotopia.net/ultimate-list-of-funny-british-place-names/

@Geo:11:12 am: A Fish called Wanda at Plenty of Fish

It’s really just common scents.

Stink or swim.