Seat but don’t sit

I’ cut the vegetables then

Sitting and Clipping how convenient

Someone had to put an end to the seated-vegetable-clipping hype. Things were getting out of hand.

All I wanted was a bowl of potato clips.

And don’t even THINK about plucking that chicken until after take off.

You apologise for the convenience.

Can I sit on vegetables? I promise I won’t clip.

But wait, there’s more! The Popiel Clip-O-Matic can turn these ordinary carrots into weapons of mass destruction. In seconds. Onion rings? We got ’em.

– Sit! Roll over! Clip!

Every time a date wanted to take me to her church it usually turned into something like this.

Clip and Wait
(Vegetables Remix While Some Clipping Occurs)

♫

(Oops? This part fell out!)

All we can do is clip and wait
All we can do is just clip and wait (it says)
What we can’t do is sit and clip
What we can’t do, yeah, that’s what it says
Clip and wait, clip and wait, just clip and wait

Looks like somebody’s been circumcising the carrots…. again.

Yeah I should have clipped my vegetables at home, it’s nicer
to clip them after a shower.

I’ll just cut the cheese then.

But I need to reload my Potato Gun… in case I don’t like the performance.

If you give your vegetables a clip around the ear – we will report
you to PETOV: People for the Ethical Treatment Of Vegetables.

How about the vegetables Mr Abbott?

Just tell them to vote with the party, and keep their mouths shut.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.

The sound of a carrot in extremis.

Worrried mother: “Doctor! My son just ate four spoonfulls of sand. What should I do?”

Doctor: ‘No matter how much he begs, under no condition fee him any cement.’

Clip the crab!

Don’t you hate that? You’re trying to enjoy a good show, and some jerk behind you is snapping the heads off broccoli. So annoying.

On the night of the Taiwan horror, the Brocolli eats you.

But its ok to sit and clip your nails.

“Elementary my dear Watson. The lady was attacked by a giant carrot.”

‘I can see that Holmes. The poor lady appeared to be completely done in.’

Excuse me sir, that’s not a valid vegetable, I can’t clip that and I
can’t let you in.

SECONDS!!!

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.

(I can’t hear you. I have a banana in my ear)

Can I just sit and spin?

Can I clip ,my bird’s wings instead?

If I can’t clip ’em, can I dip ’em?

Just sit anywhere. Except this row. Anywhere at all. But not on the seat. Really, anywhere.

Please don’t be seated . . .

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