NFS!

Speak for yourself!

Condition for the sign writers: you must be able to read, write and fully understand English.

Can I lease one. By the hour perhaps.

Tourist can be used and is not precocious. I am so sorry.

You must be able to read, write and fully understand Japanese because frankly the English translation is useless.

Tourists are for local consumption only.

…in stores. Call our toll free number to order. But wait, there’s more. Call in the next five minutes and receive a second tourist for the low low price of $19.95. Must have Visa or Mastercard. Children must have parent’s permission. Void where prohibited.

WARNING: Please do not use tourist as a Japanese.

You can purchase a local resident for only $5.99

You’ve got to earn your tourist like the rest of us did.

Terrorist on the other hand…

Tourists can be rented by the hour or by the day. They must be returned in the same condition as when they left the lot.

Tourist is so annoying with his loud tropical shirt, constant camera-flashing, and lack of understanding Japanese we can’t even GIVE him away.

How much are Alien rookie cards? I need some for my collection.

If you are a tourist:

– You must be welcome
– You can not be purchased
– You must not give the eating to the monkeys
– You must be able to read, write and fully understand Japanese
– You must be able to walk backwards
– You must not confuse Asian cuisine
– You must know at sea
– You must be satisfied!

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’re a Japanese tourist, you must not be able to read, write and fully understand Japanese. Just pretend you’re from another country.

ET just wanted to phone home…

However, with an organ donor card…

Jeez Tojo! I only wanted to go for a pee between flights.

Look. I am an alien from the planet Elinas in the Alpha Centauri star system. (You know. The one with three suns)
If it is all right with you, I prefer to only show myself to kack handed ninnies, who can only take out-of -focus photos?

short, sweet, and to the point. I give this one a “5”!

We sell Samurai warriors and ninjas.
prices can be bargained.

Taking “alien card” to a whole new level

Refunds not allowed if you find it is too big for you.

Gladly the Japs, unlike their closest neighbours, are indeed civilised people. After all they don’t sell tourists.

Sadly though, the Japs, like their Super Neighbour in the Wild Wild West, treat tourists as ‘aliens’ . . . ugh (!!)

Whatever happened to “everyone has a price”…?

Good, no problem to me cause I’d rather purchase a local.

“Are we in Tourist Trap here?” 😀

Meanwhile in Bali.

Card to proving alienship must be have to sell the tourist.

hi, I’m from MIB. Actually this is just a joke. There is no aliens, there is no alien card, and the aliens will never buy any tourist coz we have warn them …, so, don’t worry. We’ll remove the note soon.

Please look a this pen. It just an eye test, just look closer over here… *** … er… damn, the batteries out!

The “alien” thing in official documents is more like a wacky translation of 外国人 — “foreigner”, that’s what Japanese versions say.

The US _does_ call foreigners and foreign residents “aliens” though and they don’t get to use bad translations as an excuse. Really makes you feel welcome.

…and please! Do not hunt people, Mr. Yautja!

This one actually makes sense. Just some mildly odd translation. You generally can’t buy a cell phone contract (or get phone internet access) without having an ARC (Alien Residence Card)/Residence Visa/Green Card in most Asian countries so buying a phone that is priced cheap because it includes a phone contract can’t be sold to tourists (who don’t have residence). This is a common ex-pat hassle. Just like the $100 iPhone deal at the AT&T or Apple Store in the US where the phone is actually $700 without a contract. The equivalent of “residence” (not a “tourist”) in the US is… Read more »

The election’s getting ugly now, he just played the alien card.

But the natives can be purchased

Sorry, not for sale…