Well, he was a carpenter…

This nail salon has been struck by lightning 647 times since opening last week.

Because if wearing the Satan Miss Bitch blouse you should be looking for redemption AND a nice nail work!

Daily Specials on Eyebrow Tweezing and Crown of Thorns!

Shiva Nails is having a four for one sale.

People of Jewusalem!
Wome is your fwiend.
To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to get a full set and pedicuwe.

Hey! Cool it with the hammer Centurion, I just had my nails done!

Me so holy. Me love you long time.

Don’t nail him, he’ll get cross.

Oh all right then, put him up for Easter.

PLEASE don’t give Mel Gibson material for another movie!

Roman soldier. “Would you mind crossing your legs sir. This is my last nail.”

I didn’t know that Pilate charged people different prices for nailing Jesus. That’s a ripoff.

And God said unto his son, “Get ye to yon nail salon and partake in the blessed sacrament of the mani/pedi.” And when he arrived there, he discovered the 50% divine savior’s discount.

When you said this was a Pilates class, I thought…

Did they mean to pronounce that “Haysoos?”

Someone already did that 2000 years ago, they nailed him to a cross.

He can walk on water AND acetone!

Or Jesus will nail you (he’s a real love machine).

Mary Magdalene did nothing of the sort (despite what Dan Brown would have you believe).

Resurrect those tired dark roots… Sit on the Right Hand of Mary, our manicurist… Believe and Receive our Sunday discounts… Take, Eat, this is our pastry tray… and be sure to tip our Money Changers at the counter. Bless you.

For God So Loved the World… that he turned Good Friday into Great Fridays! Cast your bread upon the cashier and your pedicure will be done–tenfold!

Tired of being CRUCIFIED by high salon prices?
Want to see your husband RISE AGAIN?
Visit Nail Jesus, because everyone knows…
JESUS SAVES!

He may be the son of a virgin, but he is not so innocent himself.

The 11th commandment:

Thou shalt bone thy saviour. Nail him right in the hiney.

FYI – checked out the web site. They’ve changed their name (someone may have mentioned to them it may not be appropriate). The new name is ネイルサロンラムネ, which, as far as my faltering Japanese can tell appears to be “Nail Salon Soda Pop”.

The quote is on the wrong place, that’s what the Jews screamed to the Romans “Nail Jesus!”

Background pic looks more like ‘Nail Freddy Kruger’

If they screw up your manicure, they’ll just say “Forgive me, for I know not what I do.”

Ugly nails? Our nail techs can work miracles!

and the price of going to this salon is your soul….

“I’m gonna let you nail the bejesus out of me.” says the very cute lady working at the salon.

“And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.”
From Hichhikerguide to the Galaxy

Again?!!

Right next to Buddha’s Clothes for Men and Zoroaster’s Shoes.

nail him? i barely even know him!

You are all going to hell for captioning here!!! LMAO

He died for your cuticles.

Well he already did that to Mary Magdeline, despite what an over-edited text would have you believe…