have breakfast!

Breakfast makes the skin shine.

Drinking this shake will teach you to solve alimentary equations.

Be a fatty

My fatly is vigorous enough.

Sounds like the XXXX breakfast to me.

(A Qld., beer – pron = fourex)

The best part of waking up is fatly in your cup!

“Adverbs of bodily substances for $500, Alex.”
“Vigor at breakfast increases this…”

Does shining the skin include “polishing off” the missus?

Eat Breakfast YA! (I wonder why the YA is written in Latin letters in the Chinese part, when there is a perfectly fitting character 呀 for this very purpose).

As for how the translations came about:

It’s easy to see how “healthy weight loss” became “health reduce heavy”

胖 apparently means both “fat” and “easy and comfortable”, so I guess something like “easily/comfortably adds energy” became “vigor increase fatly”.

But the last one stumps me. It literally means “young shining skin”.

@alexmagnus: Stumped? Why? To me, that seems like a perfectly normal claim for such a product.

Health reduce… heavy! Vigor increase fatly!
So this is basically a bucket of saturated fat?

Fatly is my new favorite word.