Finally… toilet paper.

In loo of naughty toilet.

A place for some fresh air urination.

It’s the best rank you’ll find in a toilet.

It’s on the Mag-lev Train. Imagine being able to crap at 400KPH.

Department of Irrigation frowns on you peeing at more than 200mph.

It’s full of nice people

An ice toilet will freeze your nutzoff.

A bloke got caught in one of these latest French self-cleaning toilets. Maybe there were warning signs, but he could read no French.

Apparently water started spurting out of everywhere. He ended up like a drowned rat, apparently.

Has anyone else encountered such a device?

The ‘Bureau of City Engineering and Gardening’ is next to the ‘Office of Surgery and Choir Singing’.

In China? That toilet travelled a long way from Nice!

@Running Comment 0437. The old operas with the women’s arias written for Castrati are seldom performed nowadays.

It appears that the young men of today, are not “cut out” for the job.

@Marum | 4:36 am: Those toilets are gradually showing up around Adelaide and suburbs. The French one had to be faulty. If they’re occupied, the door is supposed to open as a clue to vacate, well before the self-cleaning starts.
I waited at least 15 minutes for one of these to finish its cleaning process before I gave up and went elsewhere. No idea how long it’s supposed to take.
BTW, these toilets talk in an American accent; Septic Tank? 😛

The Muzak plays WC Handy.

Would an ice toilet be an ig loo?

@DNT 0448. Take no notice. The I-ties are just bragging that they can still hit it.

Well, it is a far cry from the one in “Trainspotting”.

@Marum | 4:11 am: You don’t want to be there when THAT hits the fan!!

The Bureau of City Engineering and Gardening grows a lot of pees.

We have a nice toilet near us. It talks with American accent and sings “What the world needs now is love sweet love”.

@DNT Speaking of peeing at 200mph. I just had a transurethral prostatectomy a bit over a week ago. – Joys of getting old. The only compensation was, that very pretty young nurses kept coming in for a couple of days inspecting it. At least when one of them pulled the Catheter out, (bout as thick as a pencil) it didn’t hurt as much, I guess.

They could afford a nice toilet because they were flush with funds.

Actually that is a psychological fact from some research I have read.Apparently with men, if painful procedures are performed by pretty young women, the men report less pain.

We men, certainly are strange creatures, aren’t we?

@Marum | 5:11 am: Ouch! Reminds me, the Doc wants me to get a PSA test soon. No problem with the waterworks yet, just checking up.
BTW, ever had the old “finger” test. I had one once; not painful, just slightly weird. I was like, “Oh, so THAT”S where it is!”

@Algernon: What country do you live in? I’ve been assuming from some of your comments it’s not the US.

Goooood tou

– Nice toi let you!

Just after cleaning, I assume.

Oops. Hit submit by accident.

…Shame if something were to happen to it.

In South Korea, their toilets typically consist of one Western toilet and several squat toilets. Wonder how China is?

@Long Tom 7:36 am,

Ohhhhh, China is worse.
Much, MUCH worse, especially out of the big cities.

Public bathrooms are usually squatty potties and frankly, not only are they covered in pee (I literally had to pay attention to avoid slipping) some locals don’t even bother with the pot. They just dump on the floor!

At least, that’s what I experienced in Guangzhou in late 2008….

In Japan my rule, if I wanted a western toilet, was too look for a McDonalds, Starbucks, Denny’s or a Shakey’s.

@Myself 8:48,

Meaning, the pee was all over the floor of the public bathroom, not just the toilets themselves.

I once had a colleague originally from Taiwan who told me she was shocked at the Mainland Chinese’ lack of toilet etiquette. Not just the public bathrooms like I mentioned above. She once say a parent allow his son to take a dump right there on the station platform in a Beijing subway station! She said that in Taiwan that would NEVER happen.

Then the sign should also have said, “For foreign devil use only.”

@Droll not Troll 5:28 am. The hint was some time ago here https://engrish.com/2012/11/donner-party-of-6/
I’m Australian

This is actually an almost accurate translation. To be exact, the Chinese text reads “excellent public toilet”.

@algernon | 1:01 am: Ah! So long ago, I don’t even remember that post. Been wondering whatever became of Pectolatra.
(My other 2 guesses were that you could be a Pom or a Kiwi.)
I’m impressed at the percentage of Aussie captioners on here!
Oh, and keep up the good work insulting that orange POS.

Goooooood toilet………..Goooood Toilet………Niiiice toilet………down toilet……..DOWN TOILET…..DOWN…..

NO TOILET………NOOOOOO…..AUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!

(Suck….Pop….Flusssshh…..Gulp…..Ahhhh…)

And Superintendent Pei Wen was never heard from again.

-Excerpted from “Attack of the Killer Toilets”.

@DNT 0405. Not surprisingly really. The peole in WA. FNQ. and Nhulunbuy, have always holidayed in SE. Asia. We’ve always been this white enclave in SE Asia, insular as all F—. Even nowadays, the average Aussie sees little value in learning another language. Most of my mates think I’m a little mad in that regard. I used to explain it as follows. When I flew a lot, for work I could read Conan The Barbarian. or a book, on engineering, or study a language. That way, when I arrived, I was a little bit better informed. Not necessarily wiser, for… Read more »

and the Oscar award for Best Toilet goes to ……

SO! It appears that the Chinesee are pathologically unable to aim “Percy at the pocelain”.

However that must be able to hit other targets with much greater reliability. One does not achieve a population of nigh on 1.5 billion, if you don’t ring the bell fairly regularly.

EDIT that = they.

Perfect counterpart for the Disabled Toilet:

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ8kci2xmES6jSxSTvNBVyoRS4_9BokQDLOchqk3wgSMABbmP1q