In the chicken’s defense, he WAS a vegetarian.

The chicken contains no meat.

Strange taste peanut tastes like vegetarian chicken.

Marinated goose web? What is that radioactive spider going to bite next?

That drunk black fish is a marinated mofo!

Thats a relief I thought it would be vegan

Go home black fish, you’re drunk

Huh, a fish that got tanked.

Chicken Feet, mmhhh….

What next, spicy chicken feathers?

– Waiter! This peanut has a strange taste!
– Strange? You should try the drunk black fish, Madam.

My boiled peanuts always have an unusual taste.

I boils ’em in Rum.

Marinated Tofu = Total waste of f—-n time.

If you haave a red date, it’s probably time to lay off the Thai red curry with chillies.

Cop. “Are you drunk sir?”

Driver: “Not really Osserfer, I have jussh drunk too mush Blackfish.”

C: “Will you please get out of the car sir.”

D. “I can’t Cuntschabell. I’ve still got Schikens feet.”

When you live underwater, you’re always drinking….

@ Classic Steve: I remember a “Mutts” cartoon where a fish is in a bowl and complains, “I need a drink.”

We ate there and my date certainly turned red.
I took her home and haven’t seen her since.
Sure hope she recovered.

Oh what complicated webs those geese spin….

What’s this, Officer?

It’s a ticket for drunken swimming, Mr. Blackfish.
You may appear to challenge the charge in court or you may pay the fine online, over the phone, by mail or in person as described on the reverse side.

This appears to be your first offense. If you decide to challenge, I believe the judge will likely go easy on you.

Customer: Waiter, just what the HE** is THIS?

B: That’s Tofo, ya Mofo. You ordered it. You don’t like it, not my problem.

Mr. Peanut…not to be rude, but may I suggest you try the spa down the street? A good soak might do wonders for your aroma. It’d be nice to have you return to good taste once again.

Sorry, gonna need to see some id for the Drunk Black Fish entree, you look a little young.

@Marum | 8:21 am: Not the way we make it! My lady and I often have marinated tofu – it’s oven-baked after marinating, BTW. And neither of is vegantarigan, either.

@DnT:

Vegantarigans?
Is that a Vegetarian Hooligan?
Or, does it resemble a Ptarmigan?

@Pete | 4:41 pm: I’m trying to come up with a single term to describe all the varieties of people who, selectively, don’t use animal products.

@DnT:

Oh, I see.
Hmmm…gonna have to “noodle” on that one.

Fresh chicken. Picked ripe from the tree.

This is actually correct. Vegetarian chicken is a soy product with the texture of chicken, commonly used in Chinese cuisine.