I’ll take weapon rotten furniture for $400 please, Alex.

If you burn 2 holes in the mattress, save money by burning them together into one big hole.

A lentimeter measures how long you borrow something for.

Seamen need not stay

This place stinks

Good deal! Where else can you get hole for that price?

Does rotten carpet qualify as a biological weapon?

I get the feeling the management is overcompensating for something.

I love treasure even more than uselessplasticbags.

– Reception? How much costs a non-hole of water?

– Two nights in Room 237, plus axe rotten carpet and RGB vomit, please.

@Yu No Hoo | 4:14 am: The square lentimeter is used for borrowed chess boards.

You couldn’t afford the compensation for damaging the English language!

This hotel will make a mint if any rock bands stay in the facility! If rock bands trash hotel rooms anymore.

I’m lonfused about the cetter exchanges.

Arr! Of course we love treasure, matey! (This IS “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, after all…

“…other colored liquid..”. Let’s not mention the blood, it may give the place a bad name.

Dear Hotel Manager.

My lady would like compensation for the carpet burns she suffered from your rotten carpet, during our all night love making session.

She has not only sustained damage to her knees, and both cheeks of her bum, but inexplicably, the back of her neck.

We expect a compensation of 100RMB for each lentimetre of damage.

Your guest,

In addition Sir, the free standing rack collapsed while se were making love on it. I tore the bed-head off in a fit of ecstasy while my lady was having oral sex with me, thus breaking both bed-lamps and the magazine rack. The refrigerator fell over whilst we were performing doggy-style on it, as it fell the door opened causing most of the shelves to get bent, and its door became twisted and will no longer shut. Also the bathroom basin broke while my lady was sitting on it, while I was having oral sex with her. Not to mention… Read more »

Lentils are measured in lentimeters, and pxnxs are measured in penimeters.

PS. Sir. We would have rung housekeeping, but we making love on the bench. There was plenty of room, as I had reflexively kicked the TV off the bench during on of my orgasms. It then flew across the room, through the wardrobe door, to implode in the wardrobe. Anyway, whilst making love on the bench, on about her tenth orgasm, my lady screamed at the top of her voice, tore the phone assembly off the wall, and threw it into the ceiling mirror. The mirror smashed, filling half the bedroom with broken shards of mirror-glass. The phone fared only… Read more »

It puts the colored liquid on its skin or else it gets the hole again

PPS. Dear manager. Your dysfunctional Honeymoon Suite caused us to curtail our lovemaking at that point, as there was no part of the suite left suitably for the purpose,. We did try the shower cubicle, but after all the shower-screens fell off, we abandoned that area too. We salvaged a blanket and some pillows. After shaking all the mirror-glass off them, we slept in the bath. The bath being the only intact device left, in the whole suite.

Your guest.

Please love treasure. — On International Talk Like A Pirate Day?
Arrr, I do mate, I do.

Charge for each hole? Is this a golf course or a whorehouse?

Each room contains chemical pollution from all the rotten weapons…

So, I need to pay 50RMB for each bullet hole I make in the rotten carpet or rotten furniture?

@jjhitt: It’s a HOtel

All. It’s – an hotel.

Regards……Your Grammar Nazi.

@Tom41 1557. Especially Plutonium filled anti-tank shells.

Compensation for bad Engrish . . . $ 1,000,000,000,000 per lentimeter