Engrish.com
Documenting the Engrish phenomenon from East Asia and around the world!
Documenting the Engrish phenomenon from East Asia and around the world!
Share a pleasant Engrish with vigor
It’s not a tumor
posted on 26 Aug 2016 in Menus
Great…now I need faux chemotherapy.
Photo courtesy of Andy Balk.
Found at a buffet in Matsue, Japan.
(143 votes, average: 4.62 out of 5)
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© 1999 - 2026 Engrish.com. All rights reserved.
The cancer is a lie. And the cake as well.
I’ll have tumor servings of false cancer, waiter.
This food was made with growth hormones, not cancer growth.
Cancer? False, it is actually a Virgo.
The stuff on the plate at the left must be fake Capri-corn.
There goes the good excuse for “medical” marijuana.
This caption is off-tropic.
I don’t never want to suffer from that!
“Waiter, my soup is lumpy.”
“That’s just chicken, sir.”
The false cancer is crap, not crab.
The Miracle Doctor Abe can perform his surgeries with chopsticks and soy sauce
When the surgeons operated, it was just a gyoza-ectomy.
And your sister aint no Virgo either.
You mean it’s tofu-cancer?
B-9 on the menu.
Don’t bother complaining about it to the manager; we did, and he Taurus a new one!
Actually, marijuana really does work in some medical situations…but it is NOT supposed to make you high!
Mmm…can’t wait to dig in and satisfy my false hunger!
I’ve actually been eating this stuff for the past 22 years and it ain’t killed me yet!!
More later…in abt and hour or two.
This entry literally had me belly laughing for over 5 minutes straight.
‘Coz I know what the false cancer is, how it tastes, and where the Japanese staffer went wrong in the translation attempt…and once again it results from that staffer’s cheapskate manager not being willing to pay a long-time resident gaijin ten bucks US to give an accurate description in English!
So here’s a hint:
“Winner, winner, tofu dinner!”
Except in this case it was probably breakfast…
See you folks in abt 90 min. Gotta drive into work.
A bowel of prostates
Come to where the flavor is come to cancer country
Meanwhile…across the waters of the East China Sea, on display at Beijing’s Wangfujing Night Market, a street vendor hawks his wares and markets them to the naive Laowai passers-by as:
“Scorched Scorpio on the Stick”
Good news! You don’t have cancer.
The bad news, it is actually a xenomorph that will burst out of your chest in a few hours.
OK. So…this is probably from your standard Japanese hotel breakfast buffet. It’s called “Gan-mo-doki” and you can read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganmodoki Basically a kind of tofu with all sorts of veggies and seeds and spices inside, then deep fried into a chewy fritter. It’s found in a whole host of dishes in Japan. I find it quite tasty…definitely tastier than regular “plain” tofu. They got the “Gan” part screwed up. In this case it’s supposed to mean “False Goose” (meaning kind of like “mock chicken”) where one character pronounced “Gan” which used to be used for “goose” sounds just… Read more »
@DrLex 604:
“Tofu Alien” !!!
Note:
Taurus with Broccoli (two hot plate stations over) not included in photo.
We thought we were steaming a crab, but it turned out to be an octopus in camouflage.
Avoid it if you can, sir.
How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not a cancer, IT’S A TERATOMA! IT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!
(Links to Wikipedia page)
@Pete. 0608. Not yet perhaps.
But. Will you be her tomorrow. 😀
Sung by the Mock Turtle in the Lobster Quadrille from Alice in Wonderland. (Lewis Carrol
Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!
Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!
Soo–oop of the e–e–evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
Game or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two
Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!
Posting 0815..
EDIT: her = here.
STET: Leave it at “her” it’s funnier.
@Pet 0652..
Q. What is the difference between Broccoli and snot?
A. Under no conditions whatsoever, will children eat broccoli.
Ah! Kaposi’s Sarcoma.
So! Hasoohu Barounoo. 🙄
ハッシュブラウン 😉
No need to be crabby about it.
@Marum 847:
Nice job with yer katakana, mate!
For everyone else, Marum is talkin’ ’bout breakfast taters.
@Marum 844:
More like “Hasshu Braaun”, dude.
@Pete 0934.. The katakana was total fluke mate.
Normally, I manage to tell someone (inadvertently) that their Honourable Grandmother is a horse’s ar$3, or summat similar.
@Marum 947:
You sound like me when I try speaking Mandarin.
I know just enuf to be dangerous.
Or even me speaking Japanese after having moved back to the states 20+ years ago. Man am I rusty.
And they have fool’s cold for dessert.
English isn’t my doctor’s first language, Fortunately it turned out I only had imitation crabs.
@Mouse:
Were they biosynthetic nano-crabs?
Well, Japanese have no sense of tumor.
“It’s not a tumor”. Sometimes the headline for the photo is just priceless. Hats off to whoever comes up with it…either Engrish.com staff or the photo senders.
And, thanks to “Pete” for the exlication!
*explication
Someone here has one hell of a razor-sharp katakana.
It’s a true Capricorn