I don’t want to see the pilot…

The plane only has one wing

Would that be a seat on the wing sir or the tail

For when you want to fly by autogyro or ornithopter.

Also called ‘fright’

The flight is so abnormal that the entire crew wears parachutes just in case.

Take one abnormal flight, get one kamikaze flight for free!

At the counter: “I’d like to complain. The entire flight was done upside down, and my drink spiled all over the ceiling.”

PILOT: ”Deer passengers, we are now approaching the Great Wall of China. Forget the seat belts and oxygen masks which are by the way under the sea. Goodbye and rest in pieces carefully!”

Passengers can collect their wing suits at the counter.

Less than 20 years ago, they were still flying DC3s in the backblocks of China. So. The passengers are on board, the pilot walks up the aisle into the cockpit, and shuts the door. He then starts the starboard engine and then the port one. He does his “run-ups”. Then he shuts down the port engine and then the starboard one. He appears at the cockpit door and announces. “This plane sick. We take other plane.” So, they file across the runway and get into the other DC waiting there. The pilot does his run-ups again , and once again… Read more »

Your pilot is Captain P. Q. Li-ah.

@DNT. If the insignia has only one wing, he is probably a Stewardess, or a Flight Attendant.

The flight left on time, an attractive stewardess served me a snack in route, and all my luggage arrived safely. This was a very abnormal flight.

they keep playing the song “Up where we belong ” over and over again.

Come to think of it, what is there about humans flying that’s not abnormal?

@Marum: If “he” is a stewardess, that’s definitely abnormal! 😀

@DnT. You obviously have never met any QANTAS stewards. 😀

No thanks, I prefer plain travel.

They were interviewing this old Jap guy, who went into an Oz RSL Club.

When they asked him what he did during the war, he replied: “Me Kamikaze Pilot.”

As I never knew that Kamikaze Pilots had a retirement plan, I fell off the lounge chair laughing, and missed the rest of the interview.

“WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH. PLEASE ASSUME THE CRASH POSITION….and kiss your arse goodbye.”

I just can’t wait for solar powered airplanes.

Whew… for a moment there I thought it said Abdominal Flights.

“Paging Abbie Normal…”

It’s a trebuchet.

Jetpacks, personal rockets, genetically-engineered wings, levitation, anti-gravity, telekinesis?

Supersonic hoverboards, too.

I remember a Blondie comic book where Dagwood dreams of meeting the Wright Brothers and they all try to do flying with a rubber band-powered plane. Years later in the dream, said attempt would prove a total failure. The dream was caused by Dagwood’s earlier playing with a rubber band-powered toy airplane.

@jjhitt: Those belly landings are hell!

Our motto: What goes up…. usually comes down.

I was trying to find a Justin Wilson story that could apply to this post, about a cajun at the airport who keeps asking about the arrival and departure times. Does anyone have a link to it?

I would like a ticket for the aerial screw to Beijing.

Every flight I’ve taken since 2001 has seemed pretty abnormal to me. Showing my age.

“Excuse me. I seem to be lost. Can you direct me to the counter for paranormal flights?”

Bad trip, man.

MH370 passengers checked in there.

And we wonder why they call it a terminal………… Gives new meaning to “we are making our final approach….”

For Priceline customers

A no way ticket to hell please (Fright No.666)

That is really the code word for those planning to hitch a ride on an alien space craft. Always know where your towel is.