I have a good feeling about this life jacket

Wow, that’s one sexy Life Jacket you’re wearing!

I’ll take 10.

I’d hate to have this around my neck.

After reading this, my sensa is severely unprecedentedented.

Hmm, life jacket, wrap AND vibrator… Haven’t tried that yet.

It takes out the product in the packing box, or else it gets hosed again.

Note to intimate bird: I’m directexcited G, but it crisply crisply itches too much!

That intimate bird looks a bit nervous and obsessed with vibration. Probably Woody Woodpecker.

Be sex be vibrator be common or voluntary

The DIY use doesn’t require any vibrating life-jacket.

Dear Goodbinjiayi Hotel Thing Ltd,

I hereby return my purchase to you and respectfully request a full refund of it’s cost. Despite applying the link wrap to my genital root and angling it as directed, my attempts to make intimate acquaintance with a bird failed instantly and my sex life remains distinctly deficient in fervour. The only unprecedented sensations after 90 minutes of crisply crisply itch were the intense pain of deep tissue damage and sting of gravel rash. Despite this I remain optimistic about the DIY potential of your expanded range of abrasive, high voltage rubber items.

Yours etc…

A bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush.

One can never have enough crispness.

What the f—-? You can’t make this stuff up.

Mm, how do you use it DIY style?

Look. Im a male. How or where am I supposed to use this thing?

One in the bush is worth two in the intimate bird.

I’ll just stick to my own stick, thank you so much.

Vibrator and life jacket must be OK, but I don’t understand all this unprecedentedentedunpleasant confusion with wraps.

This is the original model. The other one is extra crisply.

Does the vibrating life-jacket ensure that you have an orgasm as you drown?

@ Marum: Unfortunately it doesn’t. Because if you intend to use it as a life jacket, you’ll soon realize it’s several sizes too small.

It vibrates for 45 – 90 minutes?!? 😯
I want testimonies of this unprecedentedpleasant sensation!!!

Coming up next on HGTV, the previously banned episode of “Disaster DIY”.

Crisply crisply itches? This condom may be less than 99.4% effective.

Not intended as a floatation device

If your intimate bird gets a directexcited G from this, you’re doing it right.

Hmmm… I have to see if I can get that DIY channel added to my cable package.

Ah forget it, I’ll just use my hand instead.

Doesn’t China have a law to prevent this much engrish?

Perfectly simple: if it’s a hotel thing, it must be confused.

Man overboard!

This is way to complicated. I’m going to go join a monastery.

That Titanic movie needed more of these and less of those.

Do not get the vibration salient point backward or you may never walk again!

Did we mention crisply?

Existence of God is explained in a very similar way.

I like DIY projects. so they sell this at Home Depot? =P

“Voluntarily the DIY use” — you’re never too old to learn yet another euphemism for masturbation.

Is that a salient point forward in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Hotel Thing Limited Company — “We’ll leave the vibrator on for you.”

@jjhitt: “We’ll leave the vibrator on for you.”

I so want to hear Tom Bodette saying that!

Bodette Bodett. Sorry Tom.

Intimate Birds, an Adult version of Angry Birds

Whoever wrote this must have been using the vibrator.

Fifty Shades Of Life Jacket

Good, good, good, good vibrations!

I will never order in French again.

“Enter to the male genitals root”? Sounds painful.

Ummm… shouldn’t this be in adult Engrish?