Climactic prophylactic

Hi. The Gideons haven’t been around for a while so we stuck these in your drawer instead. After all, it’s all about getting to heaven, isn’t it?

Our new spiked condoms not only perforate your lover’s pelvic organs in order to reach the ‘g’ point, but also induce status epilepticus in the wearer, bringing a continuous climax & grade four haemorrhagic shock to the woman and an erotically slow and drawn out death as the male drowns in his own foaming vomit. Only at starred hotels and private hospitals with neurovascular surgical backup.

Warning: contains latex and iron; may cause violent death.

Already comes tugid.

Batteries not included. Flashlight for a bright orgasm not recommended to people wearing glasses. Vibration energy on demand. Call room service for details. Or 911 in case of intense convulsions.
Please enjoy your stay!

Let heartthrob. Otherwise you’ll die.

“Darling, is there an earthquake?!”
“No, it is the earth moving experience I promised you.”

But… I like to persent.

Let’s Heartthrob!

“G point of woman through space” … I never would have guessed a sex toy would make me think of Steven Hawking.

Let’s Convulse!

I feel so joyous.

Use the Vibration Energy, Luke.

“Only available in starred hotels…”
…that charge by the hour.

in case you have a seizure, this is why

“Please seek medical attention for convulsions lasting more than 4 hours…”

Looks like some BDSM stuff.

You don’t need to wear it if you’re just rubbing noses

Is this what is called “gilding the lily”??

If its rockin don’t come knockin.

They can also be quite shocking.

It’s quite rude to stand there gawking.

I have a fetish for garters and stockings.

More boinking, less talking.

Well if it vibrates on its own, is a guy necessary?

Ribbed, pointed, barbed, and steel-reinforced for her pleasure.

“Throb by Throb” ®

insert tab a into slot b

No Persenting and No Hullaballoo.

Caution:
If irritation arises, give your guy a tight slap and tell him to get out !!!

Convulsions guaranteed! No epileptic condition required!
–Hotel La Maitresse

Eccekio through Chris, we’ve got five rhyming comments. Well done!

Great … a condom that makes me feel unnecessary. Apparently, I’m just here to wear the damned thing. Thank you for bringing me to this lovely starred hotel, honey; it’s done such wonders for my masculine ego.

Convulsionary Condom? That’s the last set of words I want to hear…in bed.

The more immediately she feel joyous, the sooner go you to sleep.

Convulsionary Condom was dropped from stealth aircraft during Operation Desert Storm.
DO NOT PERSENT CONVULSIONARY CONDOM!