Elevator riding is no laughing matter…

Gee the fun police are out in force here.

Psychopaths and Pregnant Women Unite!

No midnight toking.

And that includes third like explos on belly.

You! Steve Miller! Take the stairs, you joker smoker!

How about “the stupid disease”?

I would be really worried whilst in a lift, if I was going in a dfferent direction to the lift operator.

Other people who must be accompanied:

-Space Cowboys
-People named Maurice

Speaking of the Pompetous of Love is strictly prohibited.

This sign’s a hypocrite.

I was all set to ride the elevator, but then the operator told me I had a caustic personality.

Friggin’ Nazi.

I tried to follow the lift operator but she called the police when we got into the washroom.

This elevator is a killer ride!

This is no laughing matter

Just Overheard a woman an her companion…

“Love made me blind first and then, pregnant!”

Don’t worry, in case of operational failure, our psycopaths are not alone.

That because humour is contagious?

I guess none of us commenters can ride, ’cause we’re all joking.

Midnight Tokers….

May I bring my water buffalo into the lift, Mr. Operator?
I promise he will make no hindrance!

What better place to take my nitro-glycerin meds than on an elevator? *reads #E* Son of a—!

No caustic stuff? Don’t they realise how annoying it is to use the stairs to move my caustic stuff?

No @Pete. He may make no hinderance, but he will make a heap of something else.

And no more rhyming-I mean it.

Also no brokers, poker, cokers or tapioca.

(Strip poker is permitted if don’t bring any object that might result hindrance to the operator)

Finally, a really funny engrish!

The Administrator of Lifts isn’t going to like this, Yogi.

None shall hinder the Operation!

Autolifts, transform and roll out!

Does the lift have a “slug” line for young children, pregnant women, psychopaths and people with heart conditions or mental illness?

Pregnant blind women suffering from mental illness or psychosis need not apply.

@Ralph: Only if the buffalo does so inside the lift!

; – )

H.3.a. Currently seeking volunteers to accompany psychopaths.

Wait, so in autolift I should press the buttons if I’m not the operator? I just want to get this straight.

A lad who thought it’d be quite a joke,
Went to an autolift for a smoke
But a pregnant young psychopath
Saw no reason at all to laugh,
Which proves smoking really can make you croak! 🙂

I wonder how these fun things to do on an elevator would go over in China: 1) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?” 2) Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) On arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) Meow occasionally. 6) Stare At another passenger for a while. Then announce in… Read more »

why does the “no smoking” symbol have a question mark in it???

No liquor heads. And abolutely no ballyhoo.

Right. Hullaballoo is prohibited whilst in the autolift.

Me: “So a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar…”
Other guy: “Ahem… ” (points at sign).
Me: “Ah, sorry”.

@ Chris:

Anybody want a peanut?

(I love that movie!)

YOU MUST BE THIS BLIND, PREGNANT OR PSYCHOPATH TO RIDE THIS ELEVATOR

me : why did the chicken cross the road ?
LIFT OPERATOR : how dare you ! you not ride the erevator !

Is pregnancy a disease? Why can’t a pregnant woman ride the elevator by herself? Dude if my girlfriend gets pregnant am I going to have to follow her around just in case she has to ride an elevator?

Watch out! there’s a jockey in it! It will hump your back!
Okay L4D2 jokes ensued

No inflammables. Flammables only, please.

In China, do all mentally unstable people wear a shirt at all times that says ‘Psychopath’?

This is why Google left…

i think ill take the stairs…

“Inflammable” means “flammable”? What a country!

Those blind, pregnat women! They’re so crazy!