Posta Collect Stationery

We are the Posta. Resistance is futile.

And now you know why the mailman is always so happy.

Official Arrow Supplier of Cupid.

This greeting card is throbbing….

Do special postal rates apply for letters that are big, long and hard?

You know what I did last summer.

What with an arrow perhaps.

… kind of like Voodoo, but through the postal service…

We encourage poison pen letters.

Here’s a thought for you! “Lick it and stick it!”

“… where going postal is a good thing!”

I’m gonna take this here bat, bust open yer freakin’ rib cage an’ stick mah feelin’s in yer freakin’ heart! Capice?

Love, Blaze!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Just “Thank you” would do fine.

My Dearest Count Dracula,
Miss you.
Love, Professor Abraham Van Helsing.

It sorta worked for Norman Bates. Ah… to go PSYCO ones again, and thrust those feelings deep into the heart!

Be sure to send enough postage or you’ll end up loving yourself!

With other stationary, yous posta write letters. This one yous posta collect.

The official stationary of the Lynn Minmei Fan Club

Comes in .22LR and 9mm.

FRANK: I’ll have to send you a love letter! Straight from my heart, f@cker! You know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a f@cking gun, f@cker! You receive a love letter from me, and you’re f@cked forever! You understand, f@ck? I’ll send you straight to hell, f@cker!.

ME: Jeez, Frank, all I wanted was a Valentine.

How do you like THIS package?

And if they live in Houston, send your feelings deep in the heart of Texas…

I’m sorry ma’am, there seems to be a traffic jam, so we are gonna take the bypass route now.

The only stationary that demands open heart surgery!

I’m feeling attacked. Now sending….

The judge told me that I was posta stop doing that.

POSTA – sending feelings deep into your heart by shoving it down your throat.

If you’re lucky, those thoughts will then burrow their way to your brain and lay some very special eggs.

Anyone else notice that the caption is about stationary + the guy who sent it in is called “Schreiber” which means – Scriber!

bah! my heart only accepts sms! where can i downgrade to normal posting?

sad thing is, they can only send it to 2f deep in your heart

I did send my message deep into the heart of that special someone. Now I’m trying to hide the knife and the bloody gloves.

translation: reallly reallly bad papercut

psychic knives sold separately.

Posta kit comes complete with Scapel, rib separator and an igloo cooler specially designed for organ transportation.. Get yours today!

The pen sure is sharper than the sword…

Can I get that faster and deeper please?

“To operate: Imagine your happy place, then thrust noodle forward with great force. Aim for chest. Remember to smile”

Italia?Italia…..

POSTAAAA!!!

Deeper!

The owner of Posta keeps having to change addresses and alibis – but it’s worth it, he has a lot of mafia customers who want to send thoughts (sharp, heavy, painful thoughts) deep into the heart of others.