Coming for you!

You BETTER watch out!

…Better not cry!

We’re going to find out who’s naughty or nice…

Mommy! Please don’t make me sit on Santa’s lap! I’ll be good! I promise!

…Santa claus is coming, for you.

Damnit now the kids are going to be awake ALL night!

I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

If a fat man comes to your house tonight, and puts you in a bag. Don’t worry! I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

Uncle Santa wants you.

And he brings you candy hearts, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Beard or heart

Dear Parents: There’s a shortage of elfish workforce due to harsh winters. Have a nice holiday.

Ohhhh, GREAT. Santa turns into Rambo.
JUST what I wanted for X-mas.

Anybody else notice that this Santa bears a striking resemblance to the Travelocity Roaming Gnome?

Christmas things that make you go “Hmmmmm…..”

One interpretation of this would catapult it right to the Adult Engrish section….

This weeks entertainment at the Hotel BJ

He watches you when you’re sleeping…wait, that’s not right.

Your holly-jolly nightmare is just beginning…

“I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

Then I closed the door and pulled the pillow over my head.

Yo, Chrissie! Santa Claus came for you, but you weren’t here. He left you a present. It’s in this tissue.

“If you have to pee, you’d better go now. We’re not stopping this slay for nothing!”

Santa wants your delicious brains….

In Soviet Russia San-

*gets kidnapped by Santa Claus*

In North Korea, if you do not follow the teachings of our glorious leader, Santa will really come looking for you.

Santa comes?? He is so fat and out of condition, that I am surprised that the can even get it up.

It was a crowded shopping mall.
When he thought the kiddies and no one else was looking, he took AT&T’s advice, and reached out and touched someone.

She jumped, shrieked, turned around and screamed at him “Santa PAWS!”.

(Drumroll please. OK, OK…what were y’all expecting when I’m comatose from X-mas dinner??!!)

And he only comes once. A year.

Hello gorgeous! Come sit on my lap and let’s talk about the first thing that comes up!

Is that a candy cane in your pocket, or ar you just happy to see me?

You must have encouraged him somehow…

With his neverending bag of gifts..

Ask not for whom Santa comes, he comes for YOU!!!!

Just like the tripods, If you’re waiting for the most valuable gift you want, santa comes for you out of nowhere and snag your wishlist without your gift.

“In his house at the North Pole, dead Cthanta lies dreaming.”

Oh! Santa! Stop it! You’re making a mess all over my couch!

That explains why the elves look disturbed.

I knew he was a stocker

” santa clause is comin’ to town ” !

Next year, it’ll be Santa Claus cums on you!

Santa! ♪
He come to town! ♪
Come to save ♪
The princess Zelda ♪
Gannon took her away ♪
And now the children won’t play ♪
But they will, when Santa save the day ♪
Hallelujah! ♪

In case of rupture, this bag will be empty. RESENT spinners! The end of the world is night before Christmas.

Then, he rolls over and smokes a cigarette…

guess even Samara takes the holidays off…

Santa Claus comes for town

This sounds like the title of a scary Law & Order SVU episode.

Uhm, no that’s okay Santa… you really don’t need to stop at my place this year. I’m, uh, I’m good… don’t need any presents this year.

He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake…

No, seriously, he does… and he doesn’t care either way.

Santa Claus is coming to GET you!!!

He’ll seize you when you’re sleeping.

He’s making a fist..clenching it tight. He’s going to do something naughty tonight.