Securityscattering!

Securityscattering!

posted on 18 Aug 2009 in Chinglish, Signs

Security belts will take you to an undisclosed
location where you will be scattered further…

Photo courtesy of “Muddy”.
Sign at hotel in Guangzhou, China.

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Bechstein62
Bechstein62
15 years ago

*Whew!* Thanks for explaining — I feel so much safer now!!

Spoony
Spoony
15 years ago

Hello, Robby? I’d like to get transmitted and/or beamed please. Can you connect me with Scotty?

Spoony
Spoony
15 years ago

Fire. Scattered. Transmitted. Then it is fine.

Spoony
Spoony
15 years ago

Evidently someone does not like Spoony! I better scattermyself.

DieselDragon
15 years ago

Please don’t worry if a fire is occurring, you may be burned alive in your own room at no extra charge! 😮

DieselDragon
15 years ago

For your comfort and safety, we have pwned superior scattering facilities for our guests. Unfortunateley, these are located at another hotel 800km away…

DieselDragon
15 years ago

I can’t work out whether that last bullet point is part of the evacuation procedure, or just the Internet Operationing Instruction for the hotel’s wireless network! 🙂

jjhitt
jjhitt
15 years ago

Does the informationcorridor lead to the Information Hall of Meat?

jjhitt
jjhitt
15 years ago

We Hotel. You scatter.

popper
15 years ago

Those are some cowardly security guards.

rowger
rowger
15 years ago

May you live long and scatter!

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
15 years ago

In case I need to escape through the information corridor, can I bring my excellency seat with me?

Terryl
Terryl
15 years ago

The Securityscatter sketch exit … That’s where Jack Bauer will enter.

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

OH, NO!!! NOT THE SECURITY BELTS!!!
Please, oh, PLEASE, don’t take me out to the security belts.
(‘coz everybody knows what happens after that…)

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

As your guest, We (royal we) are gladdened thou, our hotelier, hast properly called us “Your Excelllency”.

Now KNEEL before thy lord and master, KNAVE!

beechoak
beechoak
15 years ago

Oh, what I would give right now for a GPS…

Ursula
Ursula
15 years ago

I have been giggling like an idiot reading this. Thank you Engrish and those of you who post here.

coffeebot
coffeebot
15 years ago

Hello? 911? I need a Scatteringfacillty to ansure me tansmitted safely!

Chris
Chris
15 years ago

Kind of a belt and suspenders approach to security…

creampuff
creampuff
15 years ago

Scattered, smothered, covered….we do it all here at the Waffle House Hotel!

Blaze
Blaze
15 years ago

I’m a little ansure about this.

Cecily
Cecily
15 years ago

As you can see, they’ve got everything under control.

snoozerpoo
snoozerpoo
15 years ago

Securityscattering sketch exit…So we have to act out something from SNL before they’ll save us? I’d rather fry, personally.

Xila31
Xila31
15 years ago

Sure, it looks good on paper. But does the scattering plan actually work?

Scattering: just a friendly way to say “panic.”

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

This must be SOME hotel.

I’ve heard of information desks before, but they’ve got an InformationCorridor.

Dude
Dude
15 years ago

The Scatterbrain Hotel: World leader in scattering!

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

And where quality of customer service is totally scattershot.

Slider
Slider
15 years ago

Security sketch? The least they could have done was use MS paint….

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

Really. Why not a whole diagram, instead of just a lousy sketch?

DECMATH
15 years ago

Don’t transmit too far at once, you might scatter.
/too obscure?

Ralph Hamilton
Ralph Hamilton
15 years ago

Being scattered sure beats pannicking, and runnning around in little circles.

DannyDaWriter
15 years ago

…so THAT’s what the LHC is for!

halfasemitone
halfasemitone
15 years ago

The last point sounds like something Gandolf would say.

Anna
Anna
15 years ago

and in case of terrorist atack please use the terrophone

Pete
Pete
15 years ago

Information Corridors….Tansmitters….Very suspicious.
Could this be the secret location from which Hillary “channels” Bill??

Yugan
15 years ago

In event of fire, guests should first pray that they rescue better than they write English… or just pray!

Chuck
Chuck
15 years ago

…and kiss your Excellency Seat goodbye !!

Chaosweaver
Chaosweaver
15 years ago

I still exit through the front robby, right?

Lollerskate
15 years ago

If a fire is expanding towards you while in your seatbelts, don’t worry: They’re fireproof…

Lollerskate
15 years ago

Sketch exit: Cause you just gotta see the like, totally cool new ornamentation before finding the real exit.

Senobarr
Senobarr
15 years ago

in the case of a fire, the information hall of meat makes an excellent B-B-Q area to hang out…

Ken Story
Ken Story
15 years ago

what if the information corridor is where the fire is? do they have one of those paper break through walls?

Joseph
Joseph
15 years ago

A fire, huh? Well I’d better go out the sketch exit so I can draw a picture…

LoL Productions
LoL Productions
15 years ago

Do not worry if a fire is occurring, we have superior scattering staff to make sure you cannot understand what on earth we are talking about, ha ha ha.

Jetsuzu
Jetsuzu
15 years ago

Translation: We have no fire safety plan. Please scream and scatter at will while the guards pick you off with their security belts.

suiboM
suiboM
15 years ago

Set the transmitter beam to scatter, scotty.

bridget
15 years ago

In case of fire, use hand grenade.

Scottie
Scottie
15 years ago

Simple, really. Scottiescattering to the informationcorridor.

Nicholas
14 years ago

“Security belts?” I prefer the relative saftey of the Kuiper belt myself…that’s just me.

Pedro
Pedro
14 years ago

I’m not sure I like what they’re implying with the whole “security belts” deal.

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