No tab… we put it on your ransom note.

It’s a great place for kids to come in, get drunk, and then take a nap.

This place really brings out the kid in you. Then they take it.

What better place to get rid of your kids?

One cocktail for me and a 30-minute nap for my son, please.

No, maybe my son will take the cocktail AND the nap…

Leave your tip in the briefcase under the counter…un-marked bills so no one gets hurt.

I sure as hell don’t want to visit their “swap meet.”

Please note that this bar is on the second floor… OF THE BASEMENT! Perfect.

You can’t kidnap the willing…

“Hello, Stranger… buy a girl a drink and take her away from all this?”

Well at leas they’re honnest about it! You can’t say you weren’t warned when you stepped in it, so don’t complain if the tab is a bit hefty.

I’d like a vodka chloroform.

They don’t take marked bills and they don’t take American Express !

$50,000 for a beer? Oh, I see, the parents pay that…

No cocktail umbrella, please. Just a metal file will do.

Would you like to sit in the gagging or non-gagging section?

There seems to be a lack of windows here.

“Yes, I’ll take this teddy bear, this ruler, this cardboard-box, and this piece of string. Mmmmmmm.”
-Mr. Herbert

This place is better than Club the Kids.

It orders another drink or else it gets the hose again.

“Brandon | 3:32 am | Vote: 4 0
Please note that this bar is on the second floor… OF THE BASEMENT! Perfect.”

Question: How do you kidnap anyone to a sub-basement 2 levels down and expect to make a getaway from the cops if you have to?

Looks like Elmo got kidnapped!

*note* the Japanese in Erumo is technically speaking, Elmo

“A mug of beer for me and a cloth soaked in chloroform for the kid.”

I was actually looking for Bar Assault, but I guess I’ll have to settle for this.

It’s the kind of place where you just slip in, and disappear into the crowd……………..forever!!!

…After the second drink things got hazy. I woke up with a bag over my head in some guy’s trunk!

A great place to take out your family.

I sure as hell don’t want to visit their “swap meat”.

Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, your troubles are all the same. You wanna go where everybody knows you’re name.

Erumo = Russian Emo.

If you though the Long Island Ice tea was bad, try the Kidnap.

You’ll be held captive by the excellent drinks and service!

Okay, joke time…a guy walks into a bar. He never came back out.

i can imagine the bouncer..”preeze reave your rope and duct tape under your coat until rast call”
lame joke of the day: why was 6 afraid of 7?..because 7 8 9!!!

If you hand us a fake I.D., we won’t call the cops, we’ll call your parents … with ransom demands.

drinks served in small unmarked glasses from bottles with no labels

All they serve are Mickey Finns.

But what if a person is willing?

So that’s where Madeleine McCann is!