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Drifting Skills
posted on 8 Dec 2008 in Chinglish
Photo courtesy of Mark Hamilton.
Instructions for riding Dragon Boats, Yangtze River, China.
(874 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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I hate it when people call for help hurriedly. And people who laugh and scream while they drift.
Next week: Panhandling for Dummies.
Smiling and chortling while the very bad poetry is read.
I can’t believe we paid for this stupid cruise!
Perfect reading material when you’re marooned on a tropical island…
Please to be quiet while drowning.
Awww, I always thought that it’s funny and scary when I drift…
On second thought, let’s skip the boat ride.
I hate it how we have to laugh and scream after the drifting is over…
“Darling, have you noticed the boat is turning over?”
“Yes, I have.”
“Shall we call for help?”
“Not just yet. Let’s give it a minute. We don’t want to hurry.”
“I imagine we will either be laughing or screaming when this is over.”
Exhibit One: Why China never became a major naval power.
Laughing and screaming while the drifting is over….priceless.
Relax, the drifting is over.
“What? The drifting is over? Bwa-ha-ha-ha…YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
At least we know it wont be a pleasant ride.
Who knew that drifters have such a rigid set of rules?
No rush in the help, you’re only drowning.
Chinese rule makers: please absolutely no more much drinking while making rules poster.
Welcome Aboard!
Mutli-boat drifting!!?
Drifting Skills
they just want you to be happy while doing it..
Dial the 911 with no concern while gash oozes blood from the left temple. Screaming while bleeding is over.
Maybe I’ll just drift on over to the next ride.
finally a complete set of instructions for finding yourself up a certain creek with no paddle
“Um, Excuse me? I hate to bother anyone and interrupt all the laughing and screaming, but this boat appears to be sinking and i was wondering if you might offer some assista-BLUB!”
“You know, I really care for you.”
‘Really??’
“Yes — but only while rowing the boat.”
Amazing!! The legendary Lost Verses of “Row, row, row your boat” !!
Drifting. How do you row a boat on land, let alone drown?
The Fast and the Furious 6: Yangtze Drift.
I suppose saying that your boat “lashed the beach” maintains a little dignity after running aground
“No need to call for help now; there’s no rush.”
“Well the boat is broken, shall we switch sides?”
“Since we began rowing, I’ve realized that… I really care for you.”
Talking out of turn? That’s a paddlin’.
Lookin’ out the window? That’s a paddlin’.
Staring at my sandals? That’s a padddlin’.
Paddlin’ the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that’s a paddlin’
Philip Larkin, Eat your heart out.
“Row left and right while the boat is stranded”. Those darn boats are blocking the traffic! Rowing on the road goes very slow, and yet they keep rowing!
“The boat have started to drift!”
HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Laughing is the best medicine, even as you’re drowning!
And above all, have fun!
Excuse me, my boat seems to be very deep in the water. May I incline to you for a loan, bank?
Raise your hand while the boat is sinking.
the boats sinking… if you could save us, we would really appreciate it, but were in no hurry…. oh your on lunch break? no prob. we can just wait till the boat sinks and than just incline to the bank. thanx anyway
My heart will go on, and onnnnnnn……
There’s no Earthly way of knowing…
how to care for you when we are rowing
Or which way the river’s flowing…
sit hold fast as steam is drifting
Is it raining
Is it snowing
Is this boat unhurriedly overturning
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes! The danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing…
left and right stranded but not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!
Wriry Wronka’s Dragon Boat Tours
“Row left and right”… but we just keep going in circles!
do i need to use the hand brakes first.?
This is absolutely hysterically funny!
At least we know the boat will be stranded and will run aground. No attempt at false advertising here.
Quit lashing the shore you stupid boat, or i’ll have to unhurredly call for help while we to sink!
Row Left And Right Only…. Row Forward And Back not needed to drifting.