Hey, you gotta do your part…

If the police are stolen, call you at once.

Yes, and I will put a reward out for myself

Mister Stoler, can I borrow phone of you?

Also If lost please be finding yourself and going to your bangolow.

excuse me mr officer i seem to be stolen, my i ask how that happened i have no idea i was sitting here quietly and someone picked me up and ran off

If missing, stay where you are.

I was stolen. I need to be found help me!!!!!!!!!!

excuse me…. i seem to have been stolen, mr. officer.

911: this is 911 what is your emergency?
Man: HELP! I’ve been stolen!
911: by whom?
Man: My wife!
911: where are you located?, we’ll send help immeaditly!
Man: I don’t know! last thing I rember, I was in a suit and I said” I do”, and then I was here.
911: (dial tone)

…and also in your “Kidnaping Survival Kit” you will find a cell phone.

…. Unless you haven’t payed your taxes… In that case you’re better of disappeared

Your you or your life!

If humor is the best medicine (and I believe it is) this site is full of “health”.

Yeah, borrow a phone from Mr. Stoler. EASY.

i’m holding myself for ransom.

I don’t have to, I’m rigged to a burglar alarm anyway

And if your house is a pile of ashes, call the fire department.

It has a direct translation to Colombian Spanish: “si usted es robado, llame a la policía de una”

But what if my phone gets stolen too?!

And if you’re pregnant, please use protection.

if you stolen pls check out who stole you, if not we can’t find you.

It is for your own safety.

Mr.Police? You stole my stealer

CELL PHONE PROVIDED BY THEIF

And don’t forget to drop by the police station…

Sure I will. But I need to make sure I bring my phone along when Im stolen. And hope the reception there is good! ;p

Incomply at your own expense.

did they steal my nuts?

… so you can be returned to your rightful owner.

China is beating Japan at Engrish.

If you feel like you’ve been stolen, get help anyway.

However, if you’ve merely been lost, please check the last place you left yourself. You’ll usually find you there.

Note: When I first read this one there was an advertisement for Lo-Jack at the top of the page! I kid you not! LOL!

dont forget to give the license plate number of the viehicle of mr. Stoler.

make sure the thief has a handphone.

Notice how they didn’t leave the number for the police station… o.O

“Please not that you might be held for evidence”

i don’t think i’ve stolen me i think i’ve lost me and i just can’t remember the last place i put myself. or maybe i just ran away–i should have bought myself that puppy so i wouldn’t have to run away from myself.

if you are misplace only, please to look for self in elsewhere and not to be the disturb of others peaceful

Now that’s what I call “Shanghai’d!”

Hey kidnappers I’m supposed to call the police if I’m missing so can I just borrow that phone for a sec. thanks.

Stolen you is? You to be sucking bad! Holding now please the line.

Hey Mr.Stealer! Can I borrow your phone?

If one can be stolen, one deserved to be stolen.

police? I was kidna…err, I mean stolen

If you are stolen, remember to rescue yourself

But what if I’m borrowed without asking?

And if you’re on fire, Please call the fire department at once! Then call the police, the ambulance…

because YOUR problems are OUR problems.

CAN I CLAIM FROM INSURANCE

I’ll after the thief to catch back my phone then call the police.

Ooooo…..steal me!